We are only 13 days into 2022 and I’ve learned so much already. Some things I knew but have been reminded of this year.

I’ve learned that people don’t apologize if they are not sorry for their actions.

Saying sorry doesn’t mean anything if the action doesn’t change.

People lie to themselves so therefore they lie to you.

Miscommunication is the root of misunderstandings.

Not everyone thinks like you, believes like you or feels like you. That’s why there’s 31 flavors.

People who don’t take responsibility for their actions or lack of have victim mindsets.

Not everyone can love you as you need to be loved. It’s okay, others love you more than most so they make up for the ones that can’t love you as needed.

Live in the present. Worrying or grieving yesterday or being anxious for tomorrow is a waste. Both are out of our control.

Stop taking responsibility for people. You cannot control their thoughts, feelings or perceptions. If you are doing your best with them and it’s not enough for them then that’s not your issue.

Be still so you can be present and spiritually aware. Look for signs and synchronicity. They might be the answer to your prayer.

Everyone doesn’t deserve your time, attention or an explanation. Plan accordingly.

If we allow ourselves to suffer and acknowledge it, we can gain insight so that our spirit can be restored and renewed.

Forgive yourself for not knowing. Free yourself from shame. Be free of judgement.

There was a big miscommunication between me and two friends the other day and as I reflected on the communication and the breakdown of what was said, I thought about the following:

As I read this and analyzed the situation, I realized something. I realized that if we are not living in the present, at the moment, that our mood challenges us to hear.

As I blogged earlier How to Receive Your Predestined Moment if our mood is thinking about tomorrow, I might be anxious or worrying about what is to come. If our mood is grieving the past, our mindset may be depressed or emotionally distraught over something that is over and past. In both situations, we are not present and we are thinking about days that are out of our control.

If our mood is not good due to either one of these then we are likely not going to hear our intuition, be aware of our spiritual awareness. This leads to the next check ☑️, we are not listening.

Not listening gets us in trouble in everyday life. I know occasionally I get distracted by a text or a phone alert while someone is talking to me and I miss something they said or didn’t hear them correctly. If we can’t listen to important conversations due to distractions that usually are about yesterday or tomorrow then I know we miss hearing our intuition.

To those of you praying and seeking an answer for whatever you need, I encourage you to stop, be still, stop worrying about tomorrow or meditating on yesterday. Your answer could be right before you and you’re missing it because you are not listening and your mood is challenging your spiritual awareness. When you get desperate for answers and miracles to happen, you will shut down the world to focus on what you need to hear.

Don’t let miscommunication prevent you from getting your predestined moment or not hearing your prayer be answered.

Yesterday I blogged about a sermon I heard regarding moments and being spiritually aware so you don’t miss signs that bring once-in-a-lifetime moments.

Remember my “accidentally” found self-help book is The Awakened Brain The author Lisa Miller Ph.D., talks about seeing signs due to her spiritual awareness.

Do you know how you want to say something to some people in the line at the store or the gas station? And do you? Always listen to your gut talk. Dr. Miller tells a story about being in Whole Foods and the lady in front of her had tons of healthy food, like lemons, kale, and yogurt. Dr. Miller said, “you look so healthy” and the woman replied to her in shock saying, “It’s amazing you said that to me. I’m so grateful you did. I just started chemotherapy yesterday.”

Dr. Miller calls this Synchronicity. It’s when two technically unrelated events are joined in a deeper meaning. That’s the scientific term. Bishop T.D, Jakes called it Moments based on two predestined events or moments colliding due to perfect circumstances. But remember it can only happen if you are paying attention because you are spiritually aware.

Not only should we act on our intuition and listen when we should speak to someone but we shouldn’t force things or people. Remember Don’t Force Pieces That Don’t Fit. It’s all a plan but it’s not your plan. It’s the divine plan that is greater than your plan. So when you spill your coffee in the car and you have to turn around and go back home to change clothes, instead of being upset just say “Thank ya Jesus” for protecting me. It could’ve been a wreck or something you could not envision.

Now, do I think it’s coincidental that I just happened to hear a sermon on Sunday and read a book the next day about the same thing? No! I do not. The light bulb is a little brighter on my journey now. Things you learn while on a media detox. 😁

I can never say it enough, listen to your intuition, trust your gut, be in tune with your spirit and look for signs. They are always there, we often miss them because we are not consciously aware or not living in the moment.

I recently heard a sermon regarding moments. It was so on point that I have to share it. Everything in life is predestined from our birth to the grave. We are born with instinct, spiritual awareness but because we are feelers and thinkers, we often don’t listen to it. If we don’t live in the moment and listen to it, we can miss our blessing, our extraordinary moment that may never come again.

Predestined moments are always there. For instance. if Aretha Franklin was alive today, would she be the Queen of Soul? Probably not in today’s hip-hop culture. But because Ms. Aretha acted on her intuition and someone else acted on their intuition, two worlds collided and made a moment that was predestined for Aretha Franklin. She may have never been the Queen of Soul if she hadn’t acted on her intuition and let her spirit lead her to the most powerful moment in her life.

You’ve heard people say “well they were in the right place at the right time.” It’s true, if we are led by our spirit, the gut talk, we are in the right place at the right time. We know this by exercising our discernment.

To not miss a moment that is predestined for you, you must live in the moment and not worry about tomorrow or grieve for the past. We can’t take the risk of missing out because the circumstances for that opportunity may never come again.

I don’t know about you but I don’t want to miss my extraordinary moment, my predestined moment because I’m worrying about tomorrow or grieving over my past. We have to let go of what’s gone and yesterday is dead and gone. Tomorrow may never come so why worry when it’s not here yet. Live for today, exist, and listen to your gut talk while watching for signs. I know amazing things are coming for all of us that are waiting for our predestined moments.

I recently read something that said marijuana is not a gateway drug, neither is alcohol, nicotine, or caffeine. The gateway drug is trauma. Our gateway drug is neglect, abandonment, and betrayal and mostly from our childhood.

I was in a restaurant after reading that and a middle-aged man was sitting at the bar in the middle of the day, ordering shots. I stood behind him close to the hostess stand and listened to him carefully dictate how he wanted his shots. I couldn’t help but think I wonder what this man has been through that he just wanted to numb his pain so fast. Had he been abandoned, sexually abused, just fired (betrayed), what happened to him? As all those questions entered my mind, I just caught myself feeling bad for him. I wasn’t judging him or questioning his middle-of-the-day drinking. Maybe that’s how we should look at everyone doing things that we think might be out of the ordinary.

I think we get in a state of judgment and forget that behind the alcoholic, drug addict, prostitute, homeless man or woman lies a soul that has been handed some pain that they never asked for in their life. They didn’t ask to be born or ask for what trauma happened to them. Maybe they’ve managed the best they could with no real guidance or real love from anyone. Not everyone is blessed with a support system. Not everyone gets a 2nd chance.

We’ve got to start looking at people like they are all wounded because we are all wounded. Everyone has something rather they know it or admit it.

People need help. They don’t need to be judged, criticized, or have church doors slammed in their face because they don’t look or act a certain way. The only way I know is just to love the pain out of people. Love them the best you can and listen to them. Some just need to share their trauma through their stories.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8

As I’ve been blogging, you know I’m in a peaceful place right now. I came across this image and it summed up why I have peace.

Things that are out of my control are great reminders. It’s like I said in the “Love Lessons” post, most people are just for a season and serve a reason in your season of life. We have to remember this when we have no idea why they abandon or betray our relationship. What others think of me is none of my business. That’s their opinion with their brain.

Healing from the past takes time, especially from old wounds of childhood but little by little and day by day, you just start to let it go. The scars may stay forever but the battle is over and it’s time to move on. Hanging on to memories of the past only keep us bound to those memories. The more we think, ponder and replay the movie in our head, the more power we are giving that thought.

And of course, you know we cannot control the weather. We have to take the good with the bad or we’d never appreciate the good. In Dolly’s words, “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain!”

I hope this helps someone today. Save the image, print it out, put it in your phone, on your refrigerator, and let it serve as a reminder. Prayers for healing and peace to you. 💫 💕

If I could give you anything from all my experiences, I’d give you a gift of self-care. It is a must that you take care of yourself. We are all exhausted mentally and emotionally.

Since I’ve been on my media detox, my quality of life has improved. I’m not waking up to how many people are sick or died. I’m not listening to the new wave of high crime or the enormous amount of people poverty-stricken in our society. Political spats and ridiculous ridiculing others for their convictions. I’m not on edge every day because of a tragedy that I have zero control over. I promise if you turn off the tube you will not miss anything. They’ll still be talking about the same thing or something similar next week and next month.

I also don’t miss the comparison of life on social media. Look what I bought, look what I did, what I ate, where I went, who I’m with, or how wonderful my life looks. Which doesn’t mean it necessarily is wonderful. That’s why I call it Fakebook. Please don’t misunderstand, we (me too) love sharing our stuff with our friends but some just overshare and many of our friends and followers start comparing. Supposedly studies show that social media is causing depression among many due to comparing which some equate to competing. We should never compare or compete with anyone at any time. Each person has their path.

I want you to take care of yourself like you would your children, your parents, your best friend. It’s easy to tell our friends and family to take care but are we doing it for ourselves? Times have changed since March of 2020. We are living under a black cloud of sickness, death, failing businesses, a level of fear like we’ve never thought about experiencing in our lifetime, and uncertainty with no promise of an end in sight. Our nervous system was not built for what we are experiencing plus our stuff before the pandemic.

Be kind to yourself. Tell others they’ll have to wait. Turn off the tv, phone, and social media for an hour, a day, and see how you feel. Pretend you went on a cruise with no cell, internet, or cable service. Then do you! Give everyone around you the best of you not the rest of you. 💕

My entire life I have been in sales and it’s been protocol to repeatedly ask and sometimes beg for business. It’s part of a sales role, especially when you’re in a competitive industry. I find it exhausting to ask, beg or make people do something that they don’t want to do.

I’ve also been a fixer my whole life. Let me see what I can do to mend the relationship, repair damage, to apologize when I did nothing wrong. I find that exhausting too.

Last year at this time I was a beggar and a fixer. I’ve graduated and now I’m not either one of those. I have come to realize I am not responsible for making everything better for everyone. If one cannot see the value in something and its benefits or the value in a friendship, then I shouldn’t force it.

Sometimes we have to just let it be. Let people miss something, let them miss relationships. Some are only grateful when they do miss something or someone. You know the saying, “you don’t miss something or someone until they are gone.” It’s true for some people.

Forcing pieces or people that don’t fit is like putting a square peg in a round hole. Let your heartbreak from not getting the account or the friend that betrayed you. Trust that God closed that door and has something better. Forcing things not meant to be is a waste of time. Let it be, let them go, and move on.

God, your God, will restore everything you lost; he'll have compassion on you.
Deuteronomy 30:3