I recently read something that said marijuana is not a gateway drug, neither is alcohol, nicotine, or caffeine. The gateway drug is trauma. Our gateway drug is neglect, abandonment, and betrayal and mostly from our childhood.
I was in a restaurant after reading that and a middle-aged man was sitting at the bar in the middle of the day, ordering shots. I stood behind him close to the hostess stand and listened to him carefully dictate how he wanted his shots. I couldn’t help but think I wonder what this man has been through that he just wanted to numb his pain so fast. Had he been abandoned, sexually abused, just fired (betrayed), what happened to him? As all those questions entered my mind, I just caught myself feeling bad for him. I wasn’t judging him or questioning his middle-of-the-day drinking. Maybe that’s how we should look at everyone doing things that we think might be out of the ordinary.
I think we get in a state of judgment and forget that behind the alcoholic, drug addict, prostitute, homeless man or woman lies a soul that has been handed some pain that they never asked for in their life. They didn’t ask to be born or ask for what trauma happened to them. Maybe they’ve managed the best they could with no real guidance or real love from anyone. Not everyone is blessed with a support system. Not everyone gets a 2nd chance.
We’ve got to start looking at people like they are all wounded because we are all wounded. Everyone has something rather they know it or admit it.
People need help. They don’t need to be judged, criticized, or have church doors slammed in their face because they don’t look or act a certain way. The only way I know is just to love the pain out of people. Love them the best you can and listen to them. Some just need to share their trauma through their stories.
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8