I’ve set a new record. I finished a book in 2 weeks. First, let me say I’m not a reader. I’ve always had trouble focusing and reading comprehension has never been my cup of tea. I’m a hands-on learner so handing me a book for instruction is never a good idea. So maybe I set more than one record with reading The Awakened Brain. I highly recommend it for understanding spiritual awareness. Here are some highlights from the book.

• If patients could understand their anger or childhood wounds, the theory went, they could release them and no longer be controlled by them. The way out of suffering was to face suffering and gain insight.
• I was always thinking about numbers. And soon they began to light up in jaw-dropping patterns, like constellations emerging from a dark sky. The effect of maternal depression on childhood depression: a twofold increased risk. The effect of poverty on depression: a 40 percent increase associated with the variable “a problem paying bills.” The effect of parenting style on depression: when a parent, father or mother, is affectionate but not overly controlling, a child’s risk for depression is cut by 18 to 30 percent.
• I discovered something striking: when the mother and child were both high in spirituality, spirituality, the child was 80 percent protected against depression, compared with mothers and children who were not concordant for spirituality, or mothers and children who were not high in spirituality. In other words, a child was five times less likely to be depressed when spiritual life was shared with a mother.
• Personal devotion—a sense of personal relationship with a higher power—was the active ingredient that carried the protective benefit, with or without personal conservatism. Third, he found that personal devotion decreased the lifetime risk for alcoholism and nicotine dependence. Spiritual people are less likely to be addicted. The findings showed correlation, not causation, but it was a start in revealing the effects of spirituality on our mental health.
• Remarkably, I found that in the nationally representative sample of teens, adolescents with a strong personal spirituality were 35 to 75 percent less likely to experience clinical depression.
• And after so much time worrying about what we’re supposed to think, we don’t know what we think.” She pointed to the irony of becoming more and more educated while becoming less and less able to trust ourselves as knowers.
• Synchronicity—when two apparently disparate events are joined at the level of meaning or consciousness—seemed like an accessible way to illuminate and validate those sparks of inner knowing, those flashes of meaning or insight that seem to arrive out of the blue.
• Cho also found that this enhanced perception of synchronicity goes hand in hand with increased spiritual awareness—and with better mental health. The more we practice engaging with open awareness, the more we are able to perceive synchronicity. And as we see synchronicity, we become more spiritually oriented—more aware of guidance, connection, and unity in our lives.
• Spiritual awareness is a stance, not a transaction. There’s never a guarantee that we’re going to get what we want, or what we thought we wanted. When we become spiritually aware—through synchronicity, for example—it’s a sign that despite the uncertainty, we are aligned with the force of life.
• women are twice as likely as men to experience depression, she had discovered that women tend to rely more on a cognitive process called rumination—mental mental spinning or overthinking—to cope with negative moods. While men generally engage in activities that distract them from their bad moods, women tend to dwell on the causes and consequences of their moods, asking, Why am I feeling this way? Why can’t I handle things better? What’s wrong with me? This tendency to ruminate—to go down a rabbit hole of unrelenting thoughts and questions—only worsens a depressed mood, in part because the negative content of the thoughts reinforces the negative mood, but also because the process of rumination is passive and repetitive. Although people generally engage in rumination because they want to achieve new insights about themselves or their situation, Susan found that the effects of rumination are rarely positive for people who are already depressed—it impairs problem solving, deters social support, and fuels a brooding sense of low self-worth.
• Susan found that depression reinforces rumination; and rumination reinforces depression.
• And our times of doubt, struggle, and depression often serve as portals to our awakened life.
• We experience loss, trauma, suffering. We get the things we’re most terrified of, the things we least want. Even when we’re bent on protecting the castle, we can’t prevent the tides. And when we cling too tightly to our desire for control, anything can break us—we’re so brittle, fragile, ready to collapse and fall that any risk feels too severe, any block insurmountable. We are so consumed by our need to do things right, that we lose sight of the larger meaning for what we do and are blind to the regeneration that loss makes possible.

That’s only about 1/2 of what I highlighted. If you read something that resonates, I encourage you to buy it and discover more.

Remember the Christmas movie that is a favorite by many, A Wonderful Life? If you’ve seen it then you know that Clarence, the guardian angel takes George down memory lane to show his life in flashback. I don’t know who my Clarence is but I’ve been having flashbacks of my life and I’ve been shocked and what I didn’t see. When I say I had an awakening, I cannot say it enough.

I’ve read that the more you practice discernment the better you get at it. I think it’s like a bird or any animal in the wild. When they are first born they are not aware of sounds or smells that endanger them. But it’s not long before they know the sounds of gunfire, the smell of a human, the animals and prey that endanger them. We are all created with the ability to sense or judge when there is something wrong. I think God gave us that so we could protect ourselves. I think it’s strange that animals practice it daily but humans can’t seem to grasp it.

Animals know when they are in danger. They spot their enemy miles away and make preparations to avoid getting hurt or killed. Humans most of the time know their enemies too but for some reason cannot make preparations to avoid getting hurt. We continue to expose ourselves to hurtful and toxic people. Knowing their capabilities. If you want to predict the pattern of someone, look at their history.

As I look back at the flashbacks of my life I see where I put myself in danger and exposed myself to toxic relationships. I see the danger of falling prey to manipulation and so many other toxic traits. But now, I can hear conversations in stores, restaurants, and public places and think this person is toxic. This person is lying, manipulating, gaslighting. It’s like I have a built-in radar going off continuously.

I know I have spent the majority of my years putting myself in danger and not using my God-given abilities to discern toxic traits in people. I am so thankful that I am now awake and I see things clearly. I know I could still be spending another year or decade in danger and not utilizing my radar.

Shoutout to my Clarence for showing me flashbacks and giving me so much hope for my wonderful life.

As we enter into the new year and we say the same thing we say every year “new year, new me”, let me talk to y’all about why the “new year, new me” doesn’t work most of the time.

We all have dysfunction. Yes! I have dysfunction and you have dysfunction. You don’t have to admit it to anyone but we all have it. I’m talking about our lack of motivation, or whatever it is we need to work on that keeps us from being our best versions. Whatever we deviate from, whatever our handicap is, we build a coping mechanism to accommodate it.

As we fall victim to our dysfunction, we make excuses so that we can choose to keep it. The expectation is “well that’s just how I am” or “I’ve always been this way” or my customers say, “I’ve always done it this way”. We choose to keep our dysfunction. Our depth of expectation limits our productivity. This is called a victim mindset. Not taking responsibility for our actions.

We have two kinds of people, the “victims” and then we have the “enablers”. Now the enablers don’t want to feel bad. Maybe they have been there and done that, maybe they fear it could be them, maybe they are so optimistic that they have more hope for the victim than the victim has for themselves. Here is the one thing that the victim and the enabler have in common. They expect nothing to change.

The victim expects the enabler to be a helper and help them and the enabler expects the victim to be helpless. This is what we call the enemy of normal. Doing the same thing out of routine keeps us from breaking outside the box. It’s why we don’t have a “new year, new me”. We don’t break the cycle of normal.

How many enablers do you have in your circle or your tribe? We all know friends that we join at the bar when we could be working out. Friends that have us shopping and spending money we don’t have when we could be bettering ourselves with a book, podcast, or sermon. The victim says “I just am too tired to workout” so they go to the bar with the enabler who is there and shows them a good time. The friend that shops constantly to fill the void and wants her friends to join her. She’s enabling the victim who says, “I don’t have the money or the need for anything but I’ll go to take my mind off my crazy week.”

One of us has to break the enemy of normal to destroy the system of dysfunction. I’m not just talking to you, I’m talking to me too. I had to break my cycle of dysfunction to find a new me in the new year. It’s why I shut it all down and disconnected. Tv, sports, news, social media, and movies. Those were my enablers! Because of Covid, you won’t not find me at the bar or mall. All my screens allowed me to make excuses and not break outside my box. Instead of allowing my enablers to schedule around them, I now run my schedule. I’m motivated to read, find new things to do, work on myself!

If you want to commit to a “new year, new me” then know this. If you always do what you’ve always done then you’re always going to be where you’ve been.

In April of 2019, I received a call from a doctor in Nashville, TN to tell me my mother was being put on hospice. That was on a Friday evening before my son graduated from college. The following Wednesday, May 1, my job let me go due of my position was being eliminated. With tear-filled eyes, I drove back down I-85 straight to my community office to give notice to the property manager to vacate my apartment in Atlanta. Yes! I cried because I questioned what was happening. I cried because I was scared. Once I finished crying that day, I jumped up and started packing and planning. This was before my awakening and I knew then that there were no coincidences.

Shortly after moving back to Nashville to be with my mother during her final days on earth, I went with a friend to The Goodwill. As we browsed for fun like it was a scavenger hunt, I saw this picture. It drew me in immediately. I picked it up and noticed it was a signed print and looked to be an original. I shared it with my friend and she was also intrigued with the print. I bought it for $4.99 that day.

I took it home but didn’t hang it as I moved it around from room to room and continued studying and meditating on it. Each time I looked at it, I heard the infamous quote from Martin Luther King, Jr. “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

If you carefully look at the picture, you don’t see the whole staircase. You can’t see the beginning and you don’t know where it ends. If there was ever a time in my life that I didn’t know where my staircase started and where it ended it was that period of my life. Moving out of state, taking care of my mother, changing careers, seeing my son graduate from college, and then him moving to Dallas temporarily. I had more major changes and challenges than I had ever had before in my life. I had no other choice but to take one step at a time and practice my faith and my belief in God that it was all going to work out.

I now have that hanging in my office in my Atlanta home. I look at it often and remember that time in my life. It makes me feel thankful. I thank God that it all worked out and that I was able to see my sign at The Goodwill to know it was going to be okay. It was my sign that gave me hope and to practice my faith. My life was much like that staircase, I couldn’t see all of it but I believed it was only going to go up.

I encourage you to reflect on this great quote today from Martin Luther King, Jr. as we honor one of the greatest trailblazers ever. Think about what it means to you and how it applies to your life today or a time in your past. Thank you Dr. King for giving us this great quote for hope and inspiration.

Day 15 of my media detox and I’m 1/2 finished with 2 of my books, “Experiencing God” and “The Awakened Brain”. Both talk about spirituality, one from a religious view and the other from a scientific view. A lot of the views are parallel especially one and that is faith.

Since I’ve been reading and absorbing every little nugget, I’ve been trying to practice what I’ve been reading and what I believe. We can read and believe as much as we want but if we don’t practice then it doesn’t serve its purpose. I think faith is like reading a recipe. We can read it, believe we can cook it, and believe it will be good but until we practice it, we will never know and the more we practice, the better we get doing it.

Here’s my baby step in practicing. I have a space heater that I lurve, that’s one step above love for those who don’t know. It’s part of my morning and evening ritual since I don’t like the central heat on in the winter. It bothers my sinuses and I don’t sleep well so the space heater knock’s off the early morning chill with my coffee in the mornings. Last night I had it on after my bath and all of a sudden it went out. Just stopped and wouldn’t come back on. I didn’t get upset I just thought well you had a good run for 5 years. I started looking online for another one and this particular one was painfully expensive. More than I wanted to afford. So here I go, “God, I need to find this heater please Lord let me find it for my budget-friendly price.” Now I’m believing as I continue to look online. Then I felt I should go to my NextDoor app just to see if maybe by chance there was one for sale. And as soon as I typed in “heater” it came up. It was a newer model and it came with it’s twin oscillating fan. Both for $30 and it was located 6 miles from me. I reached out to the owner and picked them up this morning.

I’ve thought about the entire experience off and on all day. My thoughts have ranged from why did it go out, was this a time to practice what I’ve been reading and believing, was I supposed to meet this owner for a reason, and so much more. If I was telling the story to my shrink she’d say “don’t overthink it” so I’m going with that.

I do believe it was not coincidental. It was the perfect opportunity to practice what I’ve been reading. It was a baby step for me to know if the little things can work out so can the big things if we just believe. Faith is a lot like selling, if we don’t ask for the sale then we will never know if they will buy. I also believe that our spiritual awareness brings what we need to us. As I say, look for the signs, listen to the gut talk, be familiar with your intuition. Walk in your purpose and it will come.

I read this quote and literally laughed out loud from resonating with it. Everything has pressure limits and so does everyone. Not only do we allow pressure from others but we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves.

Yesterday I blogged about what I’ve already learned and been reminded of this year and one quote said,

Stop taking responsibility for people. You cannot control their thoughts, feelings or perceptions. If you are doing your best with them and it’s not enough for them then that’s not your issue.

We tend to use our good hearts and our love language to please them and hope they appreciate our efforts. ⚡️News flash⚡️some folks will never appreciate your efforts and they will never reciprocate! We can literally stretch ourselves thin to the point of breaking by pressuring ourselves to please them.

This especially applies to the peacemakers. When there is an elephant in the room or the relationship is rocky like a ship at sea and we just want the elephant out and the waters calm. You can stretch yourself too much by trying to push the elephant out. Think of the literal pressure it would take to push a real elephant out of a room. Impossible? Most likely and it’s most likely you can’t push an elephant out of the room in a relationship. If they are not willing to openly communicate with you and pinpoint the issue then don’t allow the pressure to move the elephant solo.

I’ve stretched and been stretched but I’m bouncing back and I’m coming with a warning, “You should probably move.”

We are only 13 days into 2022 and I’ve learned so much already. Some things I knew but have been reminded of this year.

I’ve learned that people don’t apologize if they are not sorry for their actions.

Saying sorry doesn’t mean anything if the action doesn’t change.

People lie to themselves so therefore they lie to you.

Miscommunication is the root of misunderstandings.

Not everyone thinks like you, believes like you or feels like you. That’s why there’s 31 flavors.

People who don’t take responsibility for their actions or lack of have victim mindsets.

Not everyone can love you as you need to be loved. It’s okay, others love you more than most so they make up for the ones that can’t love you as needed.

Live in the present. Worrying or grieving yesterday or being anxious for tomorrow is a waste. Both are out of our control.

Stop taking responsibility for people. You cannot control their thoughts, feelings or perceptions. If you are doing your best with them and it’s not enough for them then that’s not your issue.

Be still so you can be present and spiritually aware. Look for signs and synchronicity. They might be the answer to your prayer.

Everyone doesn’t deserve your time, attention or an explanation. Plan accordingly.

If we allow ourselves to suffer and acknowledge it, we can gain insight so that our spirit can be restored and renewed.

Forgive yourself for not knowing. Free yourself from shame. Be free of judgement.

There was a big miscommunication between me and two friends the other day and as I reflected on the communication and the breakdown of what was said, I thought about the following:

As I read this and analyzed the situation, I realized something. I realized that if we are not living in the present, at the moment, that our mood challenges us to hear.

As I blogged earlier How to Receive Your Predestined Moment if our mood is thinking about tomorrow, I might be anxious or worrying about what is to come. If our mood is grieving the past, our mindset may be depressed or emotionally distraught over something that is over and past. In both situations, we are not present and we are thinking about days that are out of our control.

If our mood is not good due to either one of these then we are likely not going to hear our intuition, be aware of our spiritual awareness. This leads to the next check ☑️, we are not listening.

Not listening gets us in trouble in everyday life. I know occasionally I get distracted by a text or a phone alert while someone is talking to me and I miss something they said or didn’t hear them correctly. If we can’t listen to important conversations due to distractions that usually are about yesterday or tomorrow then I know we miss hearing our intuition.

To those of you praying and seeking an answer for whatever you need, I encourage you to stop, be still, stop worrying about tomorrow or meditating on yesterday. Your answer could be right before you and you’re missing it because you are not listening and your mood is challenging your spiritual awareness. When you get desperate for answers and miracles to happen, you will shut down the world to focus on what you need to hear.

Don’t let miscommunication prevent you from getting your predestined moment or not hearing your prayer be answered.

Yesterday I blogged about a sermon I heard regarding moments and being spiritually aware so you don’t miss signs that bring once-in-a-lifetime moments.

Remember my “accidentally” found self-help book is The Awakened Brain The author Lisa Miller Ph.D., talks about seeing signs due to her spiritual awareness.

Do you know how you want to say something to some people in the line at the store or the gas station? And do you? Always listen to your gut talk. Dr. Miller tells a story about being in Whole Foods and the lady in front of her had tons of healthy food, like lemons, kale, and yogurt. Dr. Miller said, “you look so healthy” and the woman replied to her in shock saying, “It’s amazing you said that to me. I’m so grateful you did. I just started chemotherapy yesterday.”

Dr. Miller calls this Synchronicity. It’s when two technically unrelated events are joined in a deeper meaning. That’s the scientific term. Bishop T.D, Jakes called it Moments based on two predestined events or moments colliding due to perfect circumstances. But remember it can only happen if you are paying attention because you are spiritually aware.

Not only should we act on our intuition and listen when we should speak to someone but we shouldn’t force things or people. Remember Don’t Force Pieces That Don’t Fit. It’s all a plan but it’s not your plan. It’s the divine plan that is greater than your plan. So when you spill your coffee in the car and you have to turn around and go back home to change clothes, instead of being upset just say “Thank ya Jesus” for protecting me. It could’ve been a wreck or something you could not envision.

Now, do I think it’s coincidental that I just happened to hear a sermon on Sunday and read a book the next day about the same thing? No! I do not. The light bulb is a little brighter on my journey now. Things you learn while on a media detox. 😁