I was talking with a friend in my tribe. I was basically having a one on one session about childhood abandonment, narcissist, and boundaries. I told a story about when a family member asked me for something and I told them “no”. I didn’t think about it, I didn’t stutter, I didn’t say “uh, let me think about it”, I said “no”. They hung the phone up and never spoke to me again.
If you want to test someone’s love for you, have boundaries and enforce them. I think back to how many times I allowed my boundaries to be pushed, crossed, disregarded which disrespected me. So many times my gut, energy, intuition was saying “no”, it didn’t feel good thinking about it or doing it but I did it and allowed it anyway. I did it to make others happy, not myself. All the time I thought I was making others happy, now they are no longer around.
After years of not enforcing boundaries, I woke up. I realized after losing 4 people in 4 years, that life is too short! The Bible says “God is no respecter of persons.”, which means God treats us all the same because we are all the same. That means, I could die next, you could die next. No promise of tomorrow is given. We only have this life to live and we don’t need to be living for others. Our boundaries need to be respected. We also don’t need to apologize, give a reason, or be made to feel guilty about our boundaries. The family member tried the ol’ guilt trip but I was unwavering. If you wanna test someone’s love and respect for you, enforce your boundaries, see what happens. Tell them without reason and then watch. It’s like your own superpower, you’ll see right through them real fast.