I’ve seen this quote twice this week. I read it and think it must’ve been written by a narcissist survivor. It clearly depicts that someone at least got exposed.
My narcissists would say “Sorry” quite a bit but there was never an action that followed the word. Sure there might be make-up gifts or time but not once did I ever hear “I won’t do that again.” I believe if that would’ve been said that would’ve been another lie.
And if I said “ you said blah blah blah”, the response would change the subject or “I know what I said.” The non-commitment to action following “sorry” is part of the game played in their head. The “sorry” gets forgiveness. The gifts are part of the love-bombing, suck you back in and give them control of the situation.
I remember describing the scenario to my shrink once. I said it’s like being with the guy I dated in my younger years that was a functioning alcoholic. He’d get blackout drunk, do outrageous things, like locking me out, hide keys, leave me, and then the next thing I knew I’d have a new designer bag at my door. It was a vicious cycle and lucky for me that one I didn’t love him and two I didn’t tolerate it long.
The last time I heard, he was still an alcoholic, doing the same stuff to someone else. And that’s the thing, there’s always a new victim, a new supply, a new person they can groom to be their perfect person. It took me a very long time to learn this part. We can’t wait for change, we can’t expect change because the bottom line is they cannot change. Can’t ask for medicine if you don’t think you’re sick. Please believe me when I say, you are wasting your time, money, and life. Move on, move out, move smart but move!
Dealing to Healing 