Above All Else

I’ve heard this scripture since I was a child. I didn’t learn it in public school, I didn’t learn it from my parents, or my sibling. I suppose I learned it in Sunday school or from a pulpit but wouldn’t it be wonderful to learn it in public school, maybe have a class on it? Things society does not teach us. Because haven’t we all had our hearts broken, hurt, stepped on, crushed?

I’ve had my share of heartaches and heartbreaks. Opening our hearts allows for vulnerabilities. Love cannot exist unless we are vulnerable but how can we be vulnerable and guard our hearts at the same time?

I believe that once we know the red flags 🚩, once we’ve had our hearts broken by those that are toxic, it is our job to guard them. The scripture says “Above all else”, the boldness and strength of those words are as loud as thunder. That means let nothing come between you and your heart.

Once we know who someone is, believe them! Quit making excuses for their behavior. Stop trying to help them. If they want help, they’ll seek it. If they want help from you, they’ll ask you and apply it to their life, not just talk about it. Healing is their responsibility and nobody takes the step of getting better until THEY are ready.

Our hearts are our temples. It is why certain religions adopt the doctrine of not eating meat or swine because it’s unhealthy for our hearts. It’s why Christians believe that it’s where God lives. It’s why there are disclosures on cigarettes, vaping, and tobacco products because it’s toxic to our hearts. Think about it, it’s the most important organ in our body.

I pray that we have the wisdom to know who has bad intentions to hurt our hearts. I pray we have ears to hear and eyes to see the toxic red flags that bring on heartbreak. I pray we can follow our instinct and give thanks for all things that detoured us from heartbreaks. I pray that we guard our hearts above all else.

The Higher Power

I wanna talk to the believers. Not to the Christians, not to the church, but to anyone who believes there is a “Universe”, a “Higher Power” a God that knows all, sees all, and empowers us through our gratefulness and the desires of our heart. Manifestations are real through our prayers, faith, and trust.

One of the first things I learned from my shrink was “the hows are not up to me”. I am an over-analyzer and I want to see the other side of the tunnel before going through it. I recognize that’s from my trauma of being hurt, let down, and broken-hearted but as long as I know it and understand it I’m on my healing path.

When we are not able to see the top of the staircase, take the first step anyway, when we can’t see the other side of the tunnel, go through the tunnel anyway. We don’t always know how, when or what is going to be done but that cannot stop us. I know there is never a door opened that is not pushed, pulled or the door handle turned.

Just as the bad is always there and we can’t see it until we can see it, so is good. The good things are there waiting for us, the promotion, the job, the house, the spouse, the car, and the gifts are all always there but we are not always able to see them. The timing is everything! If things come too soon we may not be ready for it. If Starbucks had emerged during The Depression then it wouldn’t have made it because nobody would’ve paid $7 for a cup of coffee.

When it is time, it will come. In the meantime we gotta keep pushing, pulling, and turning door knobs. Keep on praying, giving thanks, and trusting. The only way we lose is by quitting. We have survived all of our past for a reason and a purpose. Don’t give up! Keep on keeping on for you are not alone.

Support, Safe & Empowered

I didn’t write that quote but if I did I would change it to “Healing is being supported which results in feeling safe and empowered.”

I’ve been thinking and meditating a lot on the word support. It’s the word that keeps coming up in my mind because I believe it’s the biggest game-changer when it comes to healing. Knowing you have support is life-changing. It’s what keeps therapists in business. It’s what keeps marriages together and what makes people successful.

But support is a two-way street, it has to be given but it also has to be welcomed. The person needing support has to allow it. Trauma survivors have a difficult time letting their guard down, allowing vulnerability, and letting anyone support them. When you are hyper-independent due to not being supported as a child, always being let down, and guarding your heart for fear of heartbreak you will tell everyone “no” when you want to say “yes”.

And choosing to support someone is not for the faint of heart. Don’t say you’ll jump in the river with the person that needs support and swim across but halfway there you stop swimming because you are tired. Folks that need support need to know that you can swim all the way and you can stay afloat with them no matter what happens. Leaving them only makes the trauma worse and their fear greater.

As I have written, my life has completely changed in 2 years. A big reason is due to having supporters that I have allowed to support me. If you have real supporters in your life, hang on to them. They are lifeguards and they won’t let you drown. Because they support you, you are feeling safe and empowered and swimming to the land of healing.

Awakening Anger

When I had my awakening a year ago, I did not identify with this quote. I was like a newborn baby just trying to grasp my mind around all the things around me. Everyone and everything around me had been there the entire time but I could not see it.

It didn’t take long to see it clearly and once I did I was angry. I’ve read the underlying tones of anger in my blog stories. Of course, I’m angry because I realized those that took advantage of my wind. The wind gets under the wings of those who cannot fly high and need a wind supply. That was me!

I was making others comfortable while I was uncomfortable. My fault? Yes but like everyone I only knew what I had experienced and I hadn’t experienced any different. I was groomed and conditioned to be the wind from birth. I did not know that if I stopped putting so much energy into others and stopped being the wind to others inevitably I would fly high myself.

I know now! Once you see it you can not unsee it and I see it every single day and think “Wow! I could’ve, I should’ve, I would’ve” but the appreciation for the teacher and the learning experience may not even be there. If I had not done what I did and believed I was only here to be wind for others then my gratitude for my awakening would look different.

Waking up angry for being better to those than you are to yourself is a waste. Just thank God you woke up and woke up on this side of the dirt before it was too late and didn’t wake up at all.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

I’m rejoicing every day in the new jewels in my crown, I’m praying every day to be better and stronger, and I’m thankful for all of it. For all that took advantage, I say, “thank you for showing me who I don’t want to be.” For all that stood by me and the angels on this earth, I say, “thank you for loving me through thick and thin and for better or worse.” And thank you God for having a will over my life that I could not see.

The Golden Ticket

I grew up about 20 minutes north of Nashville TN in a town called Hendersonville. I spent the majority of my life in that town. Graduated from there and then after a few moves returned to raise my son there. If you grew up in a small town like me then you understand that growing up in a small town, you know at least 50 percent of the population, you know generations of families, you could be a tour guide for the town and all that surrounds you is familiar.

When I moved to Georgia in 2014, many people thought I’d lost my mind. Many placed bets that I’d return to my hometown or Nashville. Here’s what they did not understand, my deep hole of peace, solitude, and discovering me was what I needed in my life and it looked different from theirs. Georgia was my escape from my triggers from my trauma, it was my golden ticket.

It’s another reason why we are not to judge. We don’t know what people go through. We don’t know their triggers, trauma, dreams what brings them peace, and solitude, and what their path looks like. We barely know ourselves much less others.

The path to peace and solitude looks different for every person. It could be a room, a garden, the beach, the mountains, a big city, a new town, sitting in your car for hours, or going to the thrift store. The list is endless but the point is it doesn’t matter what it looks like to others if it brings you solitude. Having solitude and peace is the golden ticket in life. It’s why folks work 51 weeks a year to take 1 week of vacation. Proof that we will do anything to get what we need.

Being in a place that brings us peace and solitude is like winning the lottery. Sometimes it’s an opportunity that only comes once in a lifetime. It’s why I call it the golden ticket. Your heart has a desire and your soul needs food and only you know what that is and what it looks like. I encourage you to do you and find your golden ticket to your path of solitude and peace.

Are You Being Positioned?

The term positioning means an act of placing or arranging. To be positioned for more and better you have to be placed, and arranged differently than previously to fit what is next in your life.

Here’s the difficult part, sometimes the car has to break down to get a new one. The bridge has to blow up for us to find a different route. We are creatures of comfort and habits. We don’t subject ourselves to changes and new opportunities most of the time until we are forced.

And sometimes it makes zero sense. When I recently purchased my new home, I learned the mailbox lock was broken. I couldn’t get the key to turning for anything. I’ve never been a daily go-to mailbox person, I could put the mailman out of business because I only maybe check my mail once a month. Okay, so I’m not in a hurry to repair it or worried about it.

Then after going to the grocery and having $200 worth of party food for my housewarming event, I return to my home to learn that I’m locked out of my home. The lock that had been working all day every day, ten times a day just broke. I’m locked out with no way to get in except calling a locksmith.

I get a locksmith and while he was charging me a house call, we decided it would be a great time to replace my mailbox lock. If I hadn’t been locked out of my home, there’s no way I would’ve replaced the lock on the mailbox anytime soon.

I knew when I got locked out that I was being positioned. I sat down by my door and beside my groceries and I just talked to God and said I know there’s something you are trying to tell me. Instantly I knew it was the mailbox lock that needed to be replaced sooner than I had planned.

Fast forward 2 weeks. I get an email regarding the scholarship that I received back in February for school in September. In the email, they verify my address to mail me my class materials. Aha! Now I know why I needed to change the mailbox lock.

I think our lives are much like puzzles or games. We have to keep trying to see if the pieces fit. We gotta understand the dominos might fall, the Jenga wooden blocks could fall. We must understand that we are constantly being positioned for more, better, and new chapters. And just like games, sometimes our lives do fall apart for us to start all over but know we are just being positioned.

When You Know You Know

If we could only learn the magic of dismissing our thoughts of fear, our toxic thoughts of rejection, jealousy, and resentment. If only we could dismiss our feelings that change from moment to moment depending on our environment. You know you feel different at work than you do in church or the bar, club, or ballgame. If only we could listen to our intuition and focus like a laser on energy.

The more I listen and depend on my gut talk the more I strictly rely on it. When I was in the market for a new home, I heavily relied on my energy. I didn’t care how beautiful, spacious or perfect it looked online, I would not consider it without walking into it. It was a must to know what the energy was in that home.

I believe in energy and I believe in the spirits of folks. I know if you’re a spirit of ugly that I don’t want anything from you. I mean zero to do with you or your belongings. I don’t want anything that was yours. Don’t give me your clothes, don’t bring me a gift, don’t cook dinner for me, don’t pass anything to me that was in your possession. Don’t even pray for me.

Every bad decision I’ve ever made and every bad situation I got into was due to dismissing my intuition. I went by my feelings or my thoughts and both of those mislead me to places and situations that were not good for me.

Think about it. Are you in a bad place or situation because you dismissed your intuition and did what felt good at the moment? Or did you let the thought override the gut talk?

Every creature is created with sense of knowing. The birds of the air know, the animals of the wild know, and even the brainless cockroach knows when you are after him. If all created knows then we know too. When you know you know rather you choose to dismiss it or honor it.

Watch Your Language

I grew up in a time that if you said anything that remotely sounded like a curse word the response from the grown folks would be “Watch your language.” which translated to watch what comes out of your mouth.

Times have changed and we have evolved to say anything we think is okay rather we offend folks, including ourselves or not. However, we still need to watch our language when it comes to talking about ourselves and our life.

Someone private messaged me the other day and said “looks like you’re doing great in Atlanta” my immediate response was “I’m living my best life.” I didn’t think twice before replying to them.

I’ve also implemented the word “perfect” in my life almost daily. I tell people to have a perfect day, I say “it’s perfect” when I comment on occasions, birthdays, the weather, my meal, etc…It’s not a common word we hear because we have been taught that nothing is perfect. Oh, but it is perfect!

If we say it then we believe it. We talk to ourselves rather audibly or silently more than we talk to anyone else. It’s why there are thousands of books telling us not to talk negatively about ourselves. I cringe when I hear people say they are dumb, stupid, fat, ugly, broke, and any other negative adjective.

And why is it not perfect? Perfect is only an opinion. If someone says we are not, then I dispute that because we are made in God’s image and God doesn’t make mistakes. We are perfect right where we are today. We are perfect for the knowledge we have and the experience we know. Tomorrow we will know more, be better and be perfect again.

Try it just for an hour, a day, or a week. Try implementing the words and phrases that are positive and will impact your life. Watch people’s reactions when you say unfamiliar words and phrases. Then pass it on to them “Watch your language.”

Divine Signs

On January 29 of this year, I blogged A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words. The image resonated with me so deeply that it never left my mind. I’ve thought about the image multiple times. I felt it was me in the picture.

Fast forward 6 months later I have just moved to a new home that is a story itself. A blessing that is so big and powerful, I’m gonna do a TikTok or video to share the details.

After being in my home for a month, I realized the following yesterday. This building is the first building I see as I turn left out of my driveway. This is the image at night from my rooftop. And y’all know what’s coming next, it’s not coincidental.

I know that image I blogged in January was for me and I know that it was my sign to say it was going to be my next chapter. As I searched for my new home, I wasn’t looking for a gold top building, I was just accepting and allowing it.

The signs are there, they are always there and we are so distracted, so busy, and so into other people’s business that we are missing the signs around us that are for us.

You can choose to accept it and believe it or dismiss it and find a way to think it’s crazy. I’m choosing to believe it and I’m also choosing hope, faith, and trust.

Passing the Class

Happy Friday to you! If you’ve had a challenging week then this is for you. If you’ve had a challenging month, year or life then this is for you.

I’ve had a challenging last 3 weeks. My three weeks have included a fender bender, being locked out of my home, breaking a light fixture, breaking my favorite candle, spilling the biggest container of laundry detergent, breaking and spilling an entire bottle of garlic powder, and finding out my mailbox locked was broken. Do you see the pattern yet?

Being in the school of hard knocks sucks. I didn’t pass at least 6 times. It was during the lockout that I sat down in front of my locked door and talked to God about what was happening. Why were the craziest things happening to me? I said it as if I was a victim having a pity party. The answer came immediately, slow down. Each one of those things happened because I was in a hurry. I was moving too fast, and I was impatient.

And when my locksmith came I received another answer. His wife had colon cancer and was battling her health not only due to cancer but treatments from chemo. As I listened to his story I realized that all those crazy things that had happened to me were nothing. They were like grains of sand that didn’t compare with his wife’s health.

What class are you in today? Are you getting it or repeating it? We will always repeat what we don’t learn. If you feel like a victim and are having a pity party that is fine too but just like all parties, it has to end because nobody stays around parties or people after the fun ends. Hope you pass class today and have a perfect weekend.