I had something happen unexpectedly the other day and I shared the incident with a friend. They asked, “Did that bother you?” My reply “No, I’m so deeply rooted where I am that nothing anyone does or anything that happens is going to sway me off my path.”

I continued saying…It’s taken a long time but I am in a place where I let nothing interfere with my mission. I’m busy, I’m busy writing a book, a blog, reading, listening to motivational speakers. I’m busy working and filling out paperwork for my scholarship. I’m busy planning a trip and working on my personal project. I am not looking in my rearview mirror at something that happened yesterday. Yesterday does not exist and it’s only a memory.

But I must remember while on my path that if toxic folks find a crack in me, the crack that exposes my light, they will stay up all night trying to figure out how to put out the light. Put it out like a candle in the wind. I don’t let them that close. Remember nobody is ever betrayed by an enemy. It’s the tribe member, it’s the disciples, it’s family.

I’m staying on my path and I will not allow any distractions from my purpose. I am deeply rooted so when the wind blows, I sway like a Palm so I don’t break like an Oak. And just like the Palm and Oak, they are not competing and neither am I.

It doesn’t matter if you believe in the Bible or you believe in science or both. They say the same thing and that is we are all connected, we are all one, we are!

• We are all wounded.
• We are all doing the best we can with where we are at with our knowledge and experience.
• We are all having fear.
• We are all grieving.
• We are all acting on our ego.
• We are all judging.
• We are all dreaming.
• We are all human.
• We are all made in God’s image.
• We are all a color, white, brown, black, etc
• We are all loved and want to be loved.
• We are all bleeding red.
• We are all unique with a gift and a purpose.
• We are all special.

And this is why I am trying my best to remove labels. The label does not define me. What I say does not define me. What I do, defines me. We are all the same and one.

I recently heard a sermon titled No Receipts, No Respect. Without our receipts, our proof, we get no respect.

I grew up in a time when you were supposed to hide your crazy. Nobody talked about mental health, at least not openly. Talking about depression or anxiety was forbidden. You didn’t admit to taking medication either. Prozac was a dirty word. And I remember a time that if you were struggling with mental health your family would say “she’s in the bed” which stood for she can’t face the world today.

I’m not sure why mental health was ever hidden but today that’s a completely different story. Not only should we say what mental health issues we deal with or dealt with, but we should also talk about them openly and be proud of any we have overcome.

Talking about our wounds and scars is the same as showing a receipt. You know if you don’t show a receipt on an exchange or return you are very quickly dismissed and given no respect due to lack of proof. Without a receipt, you have no proof that it ever happened. Proof confirms that you have been there, done that, got the t-shirt, can tell the story, and help others. There is much respect in the proof of overcoming adversity especially when you are the only one to overcome in your family, your circle of friends, or broken a generational curse.

If you are dealing with mental health issues, I encourage you to talk openly about it with your safe people. It helps to talk about it and it helps others to know they are not alone. If you’ve overcome an eating disorder, depression, anxiety, or whatever it is, tell your story, show your scars. Surviving should always be considered an accomplishment and a jewel in everyone’s crown. Overcoming adversity is your receipt for the respect you’ve earned which becomes your trophy that you should be proud of achieving.

Number seven on the list of Louise Hay’s Power of Self Love is Love Your Negatives. We all have negatives or what we interpret as negatives. We need to accept all parts of us even the ones that are not considered positive to us or others.

I know I am challenged with distractions. If you are talking to me and something as simple as a person walking by, a text, a call, or noise, I will stop focusing on you and look at what has got my attention. I have done that all my life. I understand that it may come across as rude, inconsiderate, or unprofessional but I know that I try very hard to not allow it to distract me. I believe that for every perceived “negative” we should find the positive in the negative.

In my case, I think being distracted can be a positive in the sense that I can juggle and keep my head on a swivel. It came in great when I bartended. I could take your order, make a drink, stock beer, hear a conversation and wipe a spill. I can also talk to you while keeping my eyes in the back of my head to make sure I’m getting my purse snatched or pickpocketed. I can also hear two conversations at the same time. Comes in handy when people talk over each other and are too rude to wait.

We must learn to embrace our negatives and flip them around to be an asset and not a liability. In some cases, we may just have to accept that is who we are and as long as it is not interfering with our life, it is acceptable. Sometimes we just need to accommodate the negatives. For example, I have friends who cannot get up and are always late to their 9 to 5 jobs. In my opinion, they need a career where they can sleep until noon or do a later shift. The hospitality industry and entertainment industry is full of opportunities that you don’t have to be at your desk at 9 am.

Let’s quit beating ourselves up for what we perceive as negatives. Definitely don’t allow others to beat us up. They can’t change their negatives so don’t let them work on yours. We should embrace every part of us. It’s who we are, our DNA, and the way God made us. Don’t apologize because he doesn’t make mistakes. Love yourself including your “negatives”.

On Sunday I blogged Fear Not. I wrote that on Saturday night based on what I felt coming out of my heart and soul. I had not read about fear or had something come up in my life regarding fear, that prompted me to write it.

Each day my morning consist of multiple sources of devotion including two emails, one from The Universe which I like to say that’s God talking to me, one from the Enneagram which tells me how to be better, three books two of which include scriptures and a devotion app including a short video from Joyce Meyer. Never are all sources related. Not once has any of the content been related. They are usually about different subjects, topics, verses, etc… however, Monday morning several were regarding fear. I call it synchronicity (the simultaneous occurrence of events that appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection) which are signs telling me to be aware, to comfort me, confirmations.

Here’s my Monday devotion

“You will face situations where you are overwhelmed and thrown into despair. Despair can take you within its grip at any moment, leaving you hopeless and helpless. But regardless of the circumstances or how it originates, fear should always be conquered with faith. Come to Me when you are full of fear, facing overwhelming unknowns, or in the midst of trouble. I AM here to release your fears and fill you with My peace. You don’t need to live in fear. It will keep you from walking in faith and hold you back from My greatest blessings in your life. Trust in My promises to you. Face your fears with the faith that is grounded in My Word. The promises that I’ve made you can conquer whatever battle you’re facing. Trusting in My Word will take down every stronghold that challenges your faith. When fear consumes you, come to My throne of grace and allow Me to embrace you with My love and calm you with My peace. Trust Me to help you, protect you and provide for you at all times and in all ways. There is nothing to fear, I AM here. Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the LORD rescue you today. Exodus 14: 13 (NLT)”

— He Whispers Your Name by Cherie Hil

Here is the beginning of Joyce Meyer

And here is my Notes from the Universe

Do you see it? FEAR is the word that keeps coming up. I blogged about it Sunday, then it came up three times Monday. That’s not coincidental, that’s the assurance I’m being shown that no matter what happens, don’t fear it. The teacher showed me the symptoms of fear, that I may not be conscious of knowing. It’s not anything to overthink, it’s a moment of gratitude to say “thank you God” for loving me enough to show me the signs.

As I have written, the signs are always there. They are there to teach us, comfort us, direct us, warn us, inspire us. Are you aware of the signs around you? We must slow down and look for the signs that are always there. Don’t dismiss the synchronicities in your life. Be grateful for signs that are given to you.

Last August when I started blogging and embraced my gifts, I prayed for one thing that my story, my message would touch just one person. I said God if one person is touched by my story then I know my words that come from you, through the divine intervention have not been in vain and I have walked another day in my purpose.

Seven months later that continues to be my prayer. It’s not an ego statement when I say my heart is overjoyed and often tears are brought to my eyes when I see a new comment, a new follower or subscriber. It is my confirmation that God hears my prayer and that I am allowing his words, not mine to flow through me.

There is no better feeling than to know that prayers are heard and answered. There is no better feeling than to know you are being utilized through your gifts to help others. As I told one of my favorite people the other day, we are here to help others. That’s it! Period!

If you are not utilizing your gifts to support others then you are missing out. You may not be a helper, a healer but you have a gift that supports others. It may be that you are a listener or an encourager. If you are not sure, then ask God to help you find your gifts and start realizing what you enjoy doing to help others. Maybe just say every day, God show me who I can help today. I promise with your eyes and ears open you will find someone every day to support.

You’ll be blessed knowing you planted a good seed. Embrace your gifts by supporting and helping others, even if it’s just one.

I’ve watched a couple of Netflix documentaries about women who fall prey to master manipulators. It’s a big trigger for me and brings up stuff that the old me experienced. If you watch these documentaries, Bad Vegan and The Tinder Swindler with zero experience with master manipulators or narcissists you may say this could not be real, these women are stupid or crazy. Trust me, they are not crazy, or stupid and it’s very real.

I understand your take because it’s so far-fetched how could anyone give up their life, go broke, file bankruptcy because of buying into a belief system that’s an illusion.

I can tell you how from my own experience and my story that closely rivals these documentaries. The abandonment wound craves love, companionship, acceptance, and emotional connection. It doesn’t matter your race, age, sex, or social status, you can fall into the trap of what you think is real love. I’ll use the analogy of a mirage in the desert. When you are so thirsty and your desire is so strong for the emotional need to be fulfilled, you cannot see things for what they are, you see them as you need them or want them to be.

A master manipulator can just allude to things to make one think it’s happening or it’s possible. They know they are painting a picture to their victims with no intention of fulfilling the victim’s need or want. If my dream is to go to Paris and the next thing I see from the manipulator are brochures on Paris, or a travel agent’s card or a book on how to speak French, I am going to think I’m getting a trip to Paris. But the trip never comes. That’s how it works when you are dealing with a narcissist!

They will lie, manipulate, throw breadcrumbs and dangle carrots just to get what they want. As I told a tribe member, I don’t like carrots anymore. I don’t follow breadcrumb trails and I will not fall for a lie or be manipulated. Once you see it for what it is, you can never unsee it. Once the pattern is broken you will never repeat it.

It’s all an illusion, it’s alluding because they’ll never admit they said it, committed to it, or promised it. Believe me! In the words of my mother, “never put your trust in man” only in God and yourself because man will lead you down a path that leads to a rabbit hole that you cannot imagine. Believe in yourself by listening to your instinct, your gut talk, and your intuition. Its the only way to avoid the master manipulator alluding to the illusion.

Next up in the list of Louise Hay’s The Power of Self Love is Loving Yourself Means Supporting Yourself.

She says, Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

This is another challenging one for me. I’d rather move a car by myself, push it uphill than ask for help. I learned to be very independent after my parents divorced. At times there wasn’t anyone to help me so I always figured it out by myself. Now when I do ask for help, it means I need it.

For us that find asking challenging and hard to do, we must remember there are helpers out there. That’s their gift is to help others. They enjoy doing it and some love to do it. I have tribe members that love to help. They have helped me move, decorate, given me rides, and the list goes on. If they didn’t help others I believe they would feel as though they were not serving others and fulfilling their purpose.

Asking for help means that you love yourself enough to ask for support. It’s a sign of strength and bravery. We don’t have to do anything alone. Allow others to use their gifts to help us. Prayers are oftentimes answered through helpers. If we don’t ask and allow sometimes we miss our answer. Love yourself enough to ask for help.