Accepting is a wonderful place to be. When we understand that everything happens for a reason and everyone is a teacher, we start believing life is like dot to dot. We have to connect the dots to understand it.

As I was telling a couple of friends of mine, we have to do A, B, C before we can do D. We have to do 1,2,3 before we can do 4. I understand that we want to pass over the pain, grief, and stuff that doesn’t feel good but is part of the experience. If you think about every terrible situation in your life, divorce, bankruptcy, illness, and even the passing of loved ones, we learn from the experience.

We learn lessons about love through a divorce, we learn financial responsibility through bankruptcy, we learn to appreciate our health through sickness, and through the death of loved ones, the list is endless. I’ve seen people quit smoking, drinking, prepare for their mortality with plots, pre-burial arrangements, change their entire course of life due to a lesson they learned from a loved one passing.

Everyone we meet knows something we don’t. Yes! Everyone is a teacher. We may not allow them to teach us because we may not like their behavior. It’s okay not to like the behavior, just don’t judge it. And don’t allow their behavior and actions to have power over your behavior and actions. Remember we are all on different paths and we just have to meet people where they are because more than likely we’ve been there or might go there.

It’s why it’s so important not to judge. It could be us. It’s easy to judge the game from the stands when you’re not on the field. Who knows maybe you’ll be on the field one day and make the same mistakes. You know the saying, “never say never”. You’re children and grandchildren will make you a liar every time.

We must remember the next time we are going through a terrible time, that it will pass and we will be okay. There’s always sunshine after rain. For every valley, there’s a mountain. Learn from the lesson and thank God when it’s over that you survived. It’s just where we were supposed to be at that time on our path.

When I was younger I loved jigsaw puzzles. As an Enneagram 8, I love the challenge of it. Trying to find the pieces, the colors that coordinate, all the wonderful things that bring it to life including working on it as a team.

I’m finding that life is like a jigsaw puzzle. There are thousands of pieces, and those pieces have all different shapes and colors. It takes a lot of time and patience to put it together. But one thing is for sure all the pieces are there if we just keep believing.

Why is it we have more faith and belief in the puzzle’s manufacturer than we do in ourselves or God? If we believe that every piece of the puzzle is there then why can’t we believe that every piece we need in life is there? We may not find it when we need it but it’s there. We may not see it right away but it’s there.

Patience is a requirement to work the puzzle but it’s also a requirement in life. It will come to you. You will find it when you look for it. Remember keeping your eyes wide open to look for signs is important. We miss so many synchronicities because we are too busy, distracted with stress, and worry.

Allow others to help you with the puzzle we call life. Let them also look for the pieces that you need. God works through everyone, not just the ones that look like you, think like you, and believe like you. Dismiss that you are the smartest one in the room and let others guide you. And never give up because all the pieces are there if you just believe.

I’ve finished reading my 2nd book for the year, Instinct, The Power to Unleash Your Inborn Drive. I’m now moving on to book number 3, The Power of Awakening by Dr. Wayne Dyer. I have about 40 books on my Kindle wishlist and this was not one of them but I’m glad I was drawn to it and chose it because it’s so profound. So many aha moments! Here’s one directly from the book.

Let’s circle back to the phrase “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” I’d really like to change it to “Today is the last day of your life.” Now there’s a slogan! You don’t have any “rest of your life” guaranteed to you at all. What you get is now. You’ve got to learn that death is like the old joke: it’s nature’s way of telling you to slow down. Sure, it’ll do that. But all kidding aside, you’ve got to get things in perspective. Life itself is an unfinished-ness. It’s not like you’re going to get it all organized into the right place, and then check out. No. God doesn’t tell you in the morning, “You’ll be checking out about 11: 30 P.M. You will be joining me tonight.” You can’t say, “Wait a minute, God. You don’t understand. I bought three bottles of shampoo. As soon as I use up that shampoo, I’ll be ready. And by the way, God, I’ve got a whole bunch of steaks in the freezer. I got them on sale and haven’t even touched them yet.” You don’t want to make God mad on your last day. He could say, “Now it’ll be about 11: 20 P.M, buddy.” I suggest that you get into the habit of telling yourself every morning, “This is the last day I’ve got.” Because you know something? All of us, at some time or another, have got to face a last day. Nobody’s leaving here alive. And when you tell yourself, “This is the last day of my life,” you get a whole new perspective on the worlds of form and nonform. You know death is merely another transition rather than anything to be feared.

Let’s say you’re in a traffic jam on your way to work. If you know that this is the last traffic jam you’re ever going to get, you’re going to enjoy the hell out of it. If this is your last bridge crossing, you’ll be checking that bridge out carefully. You’ll introduce yourself to everybody in line there: “Excuse me, my name is Wayne Dyer. I’ll be leaving tonight, but I wanted to tell you how much I like that bridge there. Boy, is that nice.” There would be no rush. You’d take it easy, and savor your time. Now, why not cultivate that attitude for everything in your life? Keeping your focus on the big picture will help you do just that.”

— The Power of Awakening: Mindfulness Practices and Spiritual Tools to Transform Your Life by Wayne W. Dyer

Yesterday I blogged on trauma that breeds a lack of faith, the spirit of fear, and doubt. I want to expand on that from yesterday. Not only is it extremely important that we work through our traumas and heal but it is also important that we surround ourselves with those who believe in us as we heal.

As I’ve said, dismiss the naysayers, the spirit of fear and doubt in your environment. Let them go! We must surround ourselves with believers. Not necessarily believers in what we believe in but people who believe in us. They don’t have to look like us or have the same beliefs as us but they must believe in us.

If we know our calling, our purpose, we must have those around us that support whatever we are called to do. It doesn’t matter how crazy it sounds or off the wall, if you know it’s your calling or purpose, you must partner with those who believe in you.

The spirit of doubt and fear is real. It will make you do irrational things and make bad decisions. If your circle or tribe doubt you and don’t believe in you then they cannot support you. Support is essential for growth. The reason some of us have been repeating patterns for years is due to a lack of support. The abandonment wound comes from a lack of support. Our caretakers chose themselves, narcotics, alcohol, work, or someone else and left us to fend for ourselves. If we are not careful we will pick familiarity and comfort to support us but will find they will ultimately choose someone or something else instead of supporting us.

I don’t know but maybe Simon’s fishermen didn’t believe in him. Maybe they should’ve said, “hey let’s take more than one net.” I think they had the spirit of doubt too. If you’re in my boat I want you to say “Hey let’s take all the nets!” I want you to jump in the boat and row to the deep. Believe that we are going to catch more fish than we can process, make some money and eat good. That’s what the power of belief and support does!

When I was young there was only one Bible version and it was the King James Version. Over time there have been multiple versions and many have been interpreted a little differently for simplicity. But because I’m old school I’m always going to believe what is original. Sometimes those updated words, like songs aren’t as good as the original. We all appreciate authenticity.

In Luke 5:1-10 a fisherman named Simon had been out all night fishing with no luck. After a night of working, he came in and washed his fishing nets. He had given up. He was tired and he was done. His business had not been profitable that night. So along comes Jesus and he’s so cool and chilled that he sits down in the boat. He didn’t command, demand or speak authority he just said,

“Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught.” And Simon replied, “Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing: nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net.” 

Did you catch that? Jesus said, “nets” and Simon replied “net”. He did what he was told but his faith was so little. His doubt was so great that he didn’t even believe Jesus sitting before him. Jesus said “nets” but he only took one net back out of the deep. Simon should’ve listened because when he went back out he caught so many fish that his one single net could not hold all the fish. He yelled back to the shoreline “help”.

What a lesson! Our spirit of doubt and fear can be so great that even when Jesus speaks we still don’t listen. When we hear that gut talk, that instinct, we should not mistake it. That is the God in us telling us what we need to do. But because of lack of faith, the spirit of fear and doubt, our patterns, the trauma that has been passed down from generation to generation we dismiss it.

Simon was a doubter because he’d been there and done that and didn’t believe what he was told, even from Jesus. He was so caught up in what didn’t work from the night before that he underestimated his blessing. He was still living in the past that was already gone and did not exist. I believe the moral of this verse is we must let go of what didn’t work yesterday and let go of doubt and believe that everything is possible when we listen to our instinct and when God speaks to us. And never underestimate your blessings!

My mother had a saying and maybe your mother or someone you know has said it too, “the blind leading the blind.” I’ve heard it my whole life but I’ve only understood its true meaning since my awakening.

For years I’ve listened to and believed people. I listened to those who I thought were knowledgeable and wiser than me. They installed my faith in them. I believed what they said more than what I felt in my gut. What I believed to be their wisdom outweighed my instinct. I believe this is because I did not wholeheartedly believe in myself due to my inner child’s wounds.

Now I look but don’t listen to those same people and I think you’re lost too. You’re as lost as last year’s Easter egg and I was believing in you. I realize now they are acting on their wounds too. Some people practice power by being a “know it all”. They can tell you a little something about everything. But is it true? No! Nobody is an expert on everything. But because we have wounds and great insecurities, we believe them more than we believe in ourselves.

Because we don’t believe in ourselves and we haven’t shut down our insecurities and worked on healing we get more lost by putting our faith in someone who is practicing power. I’ll say it again, let your instinct guide you. Put your faith in God. Believe in that gut talk and educate yourself. Work towards your healing and don’t get misled by someone who is lost. If you do, you will be part of the “the blind leading the blind.”

Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.
Matthew 15:14

I’m happy to report that earlier this month I finished my 2nd book and it was a self-help book, like the first book in January. This book however was tied with allowing your instinct to guide you in your leadership. I mentioned it earlier in a blog but here it is again, Instinct, The Power to Unleash Your Inborn Drive by T.D. Jakes. I highly recommend it because even though he is a bishop and the pastor of The Potter’s House church in Dallas Texas, it is not a religious or spiritual-based book. He writes about letting your instinct guide you through life and especially the importance of it in business. Here are some highlights from the book.

• When you are living by instinct, then you will naturally enhance everything and everyone around you. In other words, success will come naturally! When both your intellect and instincts are aligned, then producing the fruits of your labor brings satisfaction beyond measure.
• People with great instincts always transform what they are given to more than what was presented to them!
• Only Instinct can successfully find what intellect explains.
• In order to harness your intentions with your actions, you must rely on instincts.
• Instincts can help connect the dots between where you’re trying to go and how you will get there.
• Intellect can make a salesman knowledgeable about his product but it cannot tell him how to read his client.
• People adapt to their own expectations. In other words, we often behave based on our perceptions more than the reality of our actual circumstances.
• If their required investment is small so is their commitment.
• If we don’t learn to listen to instinct, then we will soon find ourselves extinct!
• I’m convinced the only way you can develop your true gifts, your creative instincts, is by embracing a vision so daunting that your heart goes running up the steps like a child, screaming with delight because you have a challenge that equals your creativity.

This is only about one-half of what intrigued me so much that I highlighted it. If you want to go deeper on instinct and letting it guide you to your purpose and in leadership then I think you would enjoy this book.