When You Know You Know

If we could only learn the magic of dismissing our thoughts of fear, our toxic thoughts of rejection, jealousy, and resentment. If only we could dismiss our feelings that change from moment to moment depending on our environment. You know you feel different at work than you do in church or the bar, club, or ballgame. If only we could listen to our intuition and focus like a laser on energy.

The more I listen and depend on my gut talk the more I strictly rely on it. When I was in the market for a new home, I heavily relied on my energy. I didn’t care how beautiful, spacious or perfect it looked online, I would not consider it without walking into it. It was a must to know what the energy was in that home.

I believe in energy and I believe in the spirits of folks. I know if you’re a spirit of ugly that I don’t want anything from you. I mean zero to do with you or your belongings. I don’t want anything that was yours. Don’t give me your clothes, don’t bring me a gift, don’t cook dinner for me, don’t pass anything to me that was in your possession. Don’t even pray for me.

Every bad decision I’ve ever made and every bad situation I got into was due to dismissing my intuition. I went by my feelings or my thoughts and both of those mislead me to places and situations that were not good for me.

Think about it. Are you in a bad place or situation because you dismissed your intuition and did what felt good at the moment? Or did you let the thought override the gut talk?

Every creature is created with sense of knowing. The birds of the air know, the animals of the wild know, and even the brainless cockroach knows when you are after him. If all created knows then we know too. When you know you know rather you choose to dismiss it or honor it.

Watch Your Language

I grew up in a time that if you said anything that remotely sounded like a curse word the response from the grown folks would be “Watch your language.” which translated to watch what comes out of your mouth.

Times have changed and we have evolved to say anything we think is okay rather we offend folks, including ourselves or not. However, we still need to watch our language when it comes to talking about ourselves and our life.

Someone private messaged me the other day and said “looks like you’re doing great in Atlanta” my immediate response was “I’m living my best life.” I didn’t think twice before replying to them.

I’ve also implemented the word “perfect” in my life almost daily. I tell people to have a perfect day, I say “it’s perfect” when I comment on occasions, birthdays, the weather, my meal, etc…It’s not a common word we hear because we have been taught that nothing is perfect. Oh, but it is perfect!

If we say it then we believe it. We talk to ourselves rather audibly or silently more than we talk to anyone else. It’s why there are thousands of books telling us not to talk negatively about ourselves. I cringe when I hear people say they are dumb, stupid, fat, ugly, broke, and any other negative adjective.

And why is it not perfect? Perfect is only an opinion. If someone says we are not, then I dispute that because we are made in God’s image and God doesn’t make mistakes. We are perfect right where we are today. We are perfect for the knowledge we have and the experience we know. Tomorrow we will know more, be better and be perfect again.

Try it just for an hour, a day, or a week. Try implementing the words and phrases that are positive and will impact your life. Watch people’s reactions when you say unfamiliar words and phrases. Then pass it on to them “Watch your language.”

Divine Signs

On January 29 of this year, I blogged A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words. The image resonated with me so deeply that it never left my mind. I’ve thought about the image multiple times. I felt it was me in the picture.

Fast forward 6 months later I have just moved to a new home that is a story itself. A blessing that is so big and powerful, I’m gonna do a TikTok or video to share the details.

After being in my home for a month, I realized the following yesterday. This building is the first building I see as I turn left out of my driveway. This is the image at night from my rooftop. And y’all know what’s coming next, it’s not coincidental.

I know that image I blogged in January was for me and I know that it was my sign to say it was going to be my next chapter. As I searched for my new home, I wasn’t looking for a gold top building, I was just accepting and allowing it.

The signs are there, they are always there and we are so distracted, so busy, and so into other people’s business that we are missing the signs around us that are for us.

You can choose to accept it and believe it or dismiss it and find a way to think it’s crazy. I’m choosing to believe it and I’m also choosing hope, faith, and trust.

Passing the Class

Happy Friday to you! If you’ve had a challenging week then this is for you. If you’ve had a challenging month, year or life then this is for you.

I’ve had a challenging last 3 weeks. My three weeks have included a fender bender, being locked out of my home, breaking a light fixture, breaking my favorite candle, spilling the biggest container of laundry detergent, breaking and spilling an entire bottle of garlic powder, and finding out my mailbox locked was broken. Do you see the pattern yet?

Being in the school of hard knocks sucks. I didn’t pass at least 6 times. It was during the lockout that I sat down in front of my locked door and talked to God about what was happening. Why were the craziest things happening to me? I said it as if I was a victim having a pity party. The answer came immediately, slow down. Each one of those things happened because I was in a hurry. I was moving too fast, and I was impatient.

And when my locksmith came I received another answer. His wife had colon cancer and was battling her health not only due to cancer but treatments from chemo. As I listened to his story I realized that all those crazy things that had happened to me were nothing. They were like grains of sand that didn’t compare with his wife’s health.

What class are you in today? Are you getting it or repeating it? We will always repeat what we don’t learn. If you feel like a victim and are having a pity party that is fine too but just like all parties, it has to end because nobody stays around parties or people after the fun ends. Hope you pass class today and have a perfect weekend.

Trust the Magic

I love this quote. I always know when it’s time for a new beginning. It’s consistent in that it unfolds like a fairytale. It’s not forced, it feels peaceful and right and the signs are consistently there. That’s how suddenly I know it’s time.

Before moving to Georgia, I traveled every other week to interview for a job. As I traveled from Nashville to Atlanta I would see Georgia license plates and almost every single one of them was from Gwinnett county. Out of 159 counties, I would consistently see Gwinnett.

When I landed a job, it was in Gwinnett county at a dealership called Gwinnett Place. As I traveled almost 30 miles one way to work, I noticed a lot of Toyota vehicles, more than any other manufacturer. When I decided to make a job change due to travel time, I asked my customer who was in the automotive industry where they’d go if they were me. They recommended only one dealership and it was a Toyota dealership. That Toyota dealership became my next source of income for 3 years.

I could go on and on about the signs I have been given showing me my next beginning. It’s only when we are aware and not distracted that we can see the signs. Being distracted by focusing on things that we cannot change or control will cause us to miss our signs and possibly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

And the people that have come into my life to point me in the right direction could fill a book. While at Toyota, I met a coworker who became a close friend. Because of her, I moved to the city. Remember when I say people don’t always look like you, think like you or believe like you to guide you? She is a perfect example. We are complete opposites but she guided me to a new chapter in my life.

Once you have experienced and embraced the signs, listening to your intuition, and welcoming it as opposed to dismissing it, it gets easier and easier to allow the next chapter to unfold. It will feel right and you’ll know it’s so right for you that no matter if those around you agree or support your decision, you’ll move forward without a stamp of approval. You’ll know to trust the magic you feel to start new beginnings.

Give Me a Minute

Who identifies? There’s a deeper meaning to this humorous cartoon. The patient knows he needs to stop, get up and leave but the procrastination is real. Knowing that we must do something but procrastinating can be for multiple reasons.

Fear is the biggest factor in procrastination. Fearing the outcome of an unknown situation will keep us procrastinating sometimes for years. Sometimes that fear that keeps us procrastinating is called Avoidance Trauma Response. Staying busy on social media, binge drinking, gambling, and shopping nonstop are all behaviors associated with ATR or as most commonly see it, procrastination.

Maybe this patient on the sofa doesn’t want to get up and leave due to facing a reality at home. People who choose to work long hours to avoid going home due to fear of the unknown or fear of punishment are forms of ATR. They are not taking action for fear of punishment which we see as procrastinating.

I’m not suggesting you overthink or overanalyze yourself or your partner every time you procrastinate but I am saying recognize if there’s a deeper meaning. Know why you just need more time, know why you are avoiding doing it. If it’s fear-related then as my shrink would suggest, “snuggle with your demons” and recognize them. You know the saying “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”, same goes with the emotions you’re trying to avoid. Fear is the enemy that keeps us avoiding and avoiding looks like procrastination.

Procrastination or avoiding our trauma through activities keeps us from healing and becoming a better version of ourselves. Trauma will hang around as long as you will let it. It will always need another minute. Know when it’s time to get up, move on and start healing.

Rock the Boat

There’s a quote by T.D. Jakes that I heard many years ago. I can’t quote it exactly so I’ll paraphrase it. “When you walk into a room and tell good news, watch who claps for you. If they don’t clap, they are not your people.”

A person’s words will tell you anything and everything you want to hear but a person’s actions tell you who they are and how they feel about you. Never misinterpret the language of love because love is an action because love is a verb.

The reason for my detailed illustration is that we must recognize our enemies and our haters. Scripture says “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.” The enemy and the thief are always camouflaged. They look like a “friend”, they appear interested but interest is assessing us for their benefit. You cannot try to destroy someone if you don’t know them.

There’s never been a bomb dropped that the enemy didn’t know exactly where they needed to drop it. It’s easy to misinterpret and mistake an enemy for a pretend friend when they are in the note-taking, and assessing process. But make no mistake, they are assessing us for their benefit not because they love us.

When we say our prayers, we need to ask for the gift of discernment and say thank you for our instinct. Remember to always listen to your gut because instinct is your knowledge to guide you. We cannot get our boat rocked if we know those who are not rowers.

The Greatest Gift

The greatest gift you can give yourself and give others is acceptance. Accepting people as they choose to be and for what they are is the greatest gift ever.

Acceptance doesn’t mean we have to have a relationship with them. We do not have to incorporate them into our life. We just have to allow what it is and stop trying to change them to please us.

If they don’t believe as you believe in religion, politics, or love, it’s okay they do not have to believe or think like you or me. Let them do what’s best for them. It doesn’t matter what we think about them, it’s none of our business.

If we want to help them then let our light shine. The scripture says in Mathew 7:15-20 

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them.”

If we think they are evil, toxic, or have deranged thinking or beliefs it’s okay. Every person will reap the seed sown. It is not our job to judge, control or be vengeful against those who do not think or believe like us.

The energy you save and apply to your life is life-changing when you stop focusing on changing others. Give yourself the best gift while simultaneously giving to others and that is acceptance.

The Hows Are Not Up to You

People with overanalyzing brains, like myself, tend to ask the infamous question “How?” a lot. “How” is a word that diminishes hope and dilutes faith. It is ultimately saying if I can’t see the details of the result, I don’t accept it.

In my early years of therapy, my shrink would often suggest solutions and ideas that were too big for me to comprehend much less believe. My question became a standing question “How?” Her response was always the same “The hows are not for us to know.” The hows are worked out when you first believe that it’s possible. Even if it’s never happened before, even if it sounds crazy. Those things are called blessings and miracles.

Jesus told Peter to go back out to sea and cast his nets, not a net but nets. He’d been out all day fishing with one net and hadn’t caught anything so how would it be possible to cast nets and catch fish when one net had not caught nothing. Initially Peter did not have faith and believe because he could not comprehend how.

But Peter trusted and believed in Jesus. Believing and trusting that it will happen is the key to it happening. I think about the trust and belief a gambler has in the system. They never ask “how” they just keep playing, trusting and believing that it’s going to happen. If we could just apply that same mentality to our daily lives.

I encourage you to find new confidence. Surround yourself with great supporters who speak words of life over you. Meditate on hopes and dreams. Embrace the visions that you see for yourself. Pray, trust, believe, and then repeat. And stop asking “how” because the “hows” are not up to you.

Something to Cry About

We’ve all heard the title come from our parents or a caretaker’s mouth. Children cry and complain over the simplest things and as adults, we know a lot of times it’s not that serious and within minutes the child has forgotten about it by being distracted by something wonderful.

Sometimes that inner child in us still exists when it comes to crying and complaining. It happened to me the other day I started complaining about something that is wearing me out but as soon as I spoke the words I stopped in my tracks and apologized for complaining when on the spectrum of issues, mine wasn’t that serious.

God reminded me that it wasn’t that serious because didn’t I just get news that one of my best friends just suddenly lost her dad to suicide. Our pain is our pain and we cannot compare emotional pain but if you want to stop the crying and complaining over the simplest things then just look around you on who’s really suffering.

Suffering is not getting to go on vacation, it’s not getting that restaurant reservation, it’s not even getting things on your timetable. The timetable comes from the divine and when it’s time, it will happen. We must trust the timing to protect us, the speed bump to slow us down, the yield sign to make us look before we go and remember the red light won’t stay red forever.

Train your brain to be thankful for all things. It’s the only way to avoid the teacher giving you something to cry about. If you think it’s bad, it can always be worse.