I was listening to the great Wayne Dyer the other day. He was telling a story about how he and his brother had been orphaned. His dad was an alcoholic and abandoned them. Wayne spoke of his addiction to drugs and alcohol. He says he went to his father’s grave to piss on it when he had his awakening. Instead of pissing on his father’s grave, he forgave his father. He said, “Who am I?” “Who am I to judge what you did?” It was then he forgave his father and only sent him love moving forward.
I realize that’s a big pill to swallow, forgiving someone who abandoned you and left you in the worst situation. As I listened so intently, I began to shed tears because my soul resonated with what Wayne was describing. I understood not only his pain with the abandonment wound but his suffering.
There is a suffering so great that we have to find a way to escape it. We are in so much pain emotionally that no narcotic, no amount of sex, shopping, or any addiction can ease the pain or cure it. A pain so great that we want to die. It’s in those moments or in that one moment that we surrender to the pain. We surrender by saying I can no longer carry this suffering. And somewhere deep down we surrender to that little flicker of light in us. I surrendered to God.
Carrying the suffering is so heavy. We carry pain from our past, the childhood wounds of being abandoned emotionally and physically. People that left us that we loved, that we counted on and believed they would be there for us. We thought they had the same heart as us. Loved us as we loved them but we found out the hard way. We found out through emotional neglect, extramarital affairs, divorces, and choosing their job or addiction over us. They threw us out like we throw out our bubble gum and never looked back to see where we landed.
As our reality sets in so does our resentment, anger, hate, jealousy, and control, all of our negative traits. We don’t feel good when we hold these things. It’s a constant battle that keeps us awake as we think about our pain and replay it over and over again. It consumes us and takes over our mind and body.
Suffering is like holding a bottle of water. The first hour we hold it we are fine but if an hour turns into hours then we start to get tired. If the hours turn into a day we start to feel exhausted and our arm is hurting, we may even switch arms. If we continue to hold it we will soon be in so much pain that we can not hold it any longer so we drop it, release it, and let it go. Suffering works the same. If we carry it long enough we will experience pain so painful that we have to let it go and release it.
Dealing to Healing 