I’ve done a lot of scary things in my lifetime. I left home when I was 17 years old with a brand new job and brand new bills all in the same week. I was scared to death.
I had a baby after unknowingly getting pregnant on birth control pills. The delivery was an emergency cesarean 24 hours after my water broke (again unknowingly) and the baby was in fetal distress. I thought I was going to lose him. Again scared to death.
I’ve started multiple businesses and with each one the fear and anxiety were overwhelming. From cash flow to profit to making major decisions.
But none of these scary moments I have shared is as scary as deciding to change. To get unstuck and push yourself like a seed planted through the soil of life.
Taking the step to grow is scary because you’re leaving behind all that is familiar. You are starting a new life and that can encompass many things. It can include walking away from unhealthy relationships including family, leaving people who benefitted from your pain for their purpose, and/or moving to a new city or town and starting fresh. Holding boundaries while reinventing yourself and sitting with pain is very scary.
It’s not the scared I want you to focus on it’s the courage and the bravery. It takes real strength to say “I’m not where I want to be or I don’t like myself, and I’m changing.” It takes commitment to check your list every day and stick with what’s best for you. If that includes holding boundaries, self-awareness, mindfulness, meditation, exercise, or whatever it looks like for you, that’s courage. Leaving the party when it’s fun to keep your commitment takes strength. Leaving relationships you’ve outgrown takes courage.
Finding your real superpower of strength and courage must be recognized and celebrated. Tell them not to be sad because you left town, because you ended the relationship, or sat with the pain while they partied but instead tell them to celebrate you. If they don’t celebrate you then it’s because you’ve already outgrown them. Move on and find a replacement who will celebrate your superpower.
Dealing to Healing 