Awakening Anger

When I had my awakening a year ago, I did not identify with this quote. I was like a newborn baby just trying to grasp my mind around all the things around me. Everyone and everything around me had been there the entire time but I could not see it.

It didn’t take long to see it clearly and once I did I was angry. I’ve read the underlying tones of anger in my blog stories. Of course, I’m angry because I realized those that took advantage of my wind. The wind gets under the wings of those who cannot fly high and need a wind supply. That was me!

I was making others comfortable while I was uncomfortable. My fault? Yes but like everyone I only knew what I had experienced and I hadn’t experienced any different. I was groomed and conditioned to be the wind from birth. I did not know that if I stopped putting so much energy into others and stopped being the wind to others inevitably I would fly high myself.

I know now! Once you see it you can not unsee it and I see it every single day and think “Wow! I could’ve, I should’ve, I would’ve” but the appreciation for the teacher and the learning experience may not even be there. If I had not done what I did and believed I was only here to be wind for others then my gratitude for my awakening would look different.

Waking up angry for being better to those than you are to yourself is a waste. Just thank God you woke up and woke up on this side of the dirt before it was too late and didn’t wake up at all.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

I’m rejoicing every day in the new jewels in my crown, I’m praying every day to be better and stronger, and I’m thankful for all of it. For all that took advantage, I say, “thank you for showing me who I don’t want to be.” For all that stood by me and the angels on this earth, I say, “thank you for loving me through thick and thin and for better or worse.” And thank you God for having a will over my life that I could not see.