I didn’t write that quote but if I did I would change it to “Healing is being supported which results in feeling safe and empowered.”
I’ve been thinking and meditating a lot on the word support. It’s the word that keeps coming up in my mind because I believe it’s the biggest game-changer when it comes to healing. Knowing you have support is life-changing. It’s what keeps therapists in business. It’s what keeps marriages together and what makes people successful.
But support is a two-way street, it has to be given but it also has to be welcomed. The person needing support has to allow it. Trauma survivors have a difficult time letting their guard down, allowing vulnerability, and letting anyone support them. When you are hyper-independent due to not being supported as a child, always being let down, and guarding your heart for fear of heartbreak you will tell everyone “no” when you want to say “yes”.
And choosing to support someone is not for the faint of heart. Don’t say you’ll jump in the river with the person that needs support and swim across but halfway there you stop swimming because you are tired. Folks that need support need to know that you can swim all the way and you can stay afloat with them no matter what happens. Leaving them only makes the trauma worse and their fear greater.
As I have written, my life has completely changed in 2 years. A big reason is due to having supporters that I have allowed to support me. If you have real supporters in your life, hang on to them. They are lifeguards and they won’t let you drown. Because they support you, you are feeling safe and empowered and swimming to the land of healing.