There is a therapist that I follow on social media and she recently shared this post that resonated with me. It’s as if I spoke these words out of my mouth.
The toxic family members who smear you conveniently fail to mention how much you did for them, how good you were to them, and how much love, patience, understanding and acceptance you offered them…and that you did all these things to a fault before deciding to cut ties. They fail to me to mention all the abuse you tolerated and for how long.
Instead, when you decide to start taking care of yourself, the tell the world that were the most selfish, unstable, unwell person they have ever met and you did nothing but hurt them in the relationship.
The teaching to take is that anyone who knows you and believes this false narrative is also not a person who deserves any of your time, love, attention or explanation. The people who really know you, can see through a smear campaign instantly. The greatest gift the smear campaign offers you is clarity on who is true to you and who is not.
Please note that if a toxic person cannot personally destroy you they will ALWAYS paint a picture to others of you that tells an embellished story of how they want people to view you. They will highlight every character flaw, every mistake, and pass out cups of poison about you as if they are an expert guru or cult leader.
They will purposely fill the minds of those closest to you with confusion, making the ones that love you most begin questioning your character and integrity. As I often write about betrayal, remember I always say nobody is ever betrayed by an enemy. It’s the tribe member, it’s the disciples, it’s family.
We must remember this not only for those who betray us but that toxic people prey on an audience. An audience that is close to their victim. If we participate as an audience we are feeding the cult leader by listening and participating in the conversation and stories. If we allow ourselves to take part in the crime that betrays the victim by participating as an audience, we are essentially an accomplice by helping make the Kool-Aid.
Dealing to Healing 