I’m working on a personal project this month. I interviewed several people to partner with during my project. I was first guided to those that qualified because there was only a select few and then I trusted my intuition on who I felt I should partner with.
As I interviewed I also tested them for integrity, motivation, and professionalism. One lady said Can I call you back tomorrow? I replied “yes”. and then she said if I forget, will you call me? My response was “no, that’s part of your test, if you don’t call me, I will not call you.” She never called me and she didn’t get the part.
Sometimes we have to test people to see if they are qualified to be in our life, to see if they can earn a part. Our time and energy should not be easily given. Giving ourselves away to those that don’t appreciate our efforts often gets us taken for granted. Some assume just because you’ve always been there that you’ll stay there. Not true! We do outgrow relationships.
My shrink has done many forecasts on my relationships and has predicted that I would outgrow this one or that one. Because I couldn’t see my growth I have often dismissed her wisdom. Her predictions have almost always come true. She’d see that I was growing and the other person was not but was essentially only holding on to me to their benefit and holding me back if I stayed in the relationship.
That’s why now, I often give tests. Are you worthy enough for my time and energy? Are you going to prove that you want to be in a relationship with me? If we test and they fail the test, release them in love. We shouldn’t be upset, disappointed, or angry because it is just a sign that it’s not our person. They may have been at one time but maybe their season is over. Accepting that we’ve outgrown a relationship should be as simple as a plant outgrowing its pot. Eventually, the plant must be moved or it will die. We must remember if we don’t move forward on our path and embrace growth including outgrowing relationships, we will stunt ourselves emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. We should never stunt our growth or pause on our path to wait on others to catch up. Give tests and see if they can pass and deserve a part in your life.