Watering the Seed of Fear

Can we talk about anxiety? Fear? Panic attacks? Scared? I was talking about it over the weekend. I was sharing about when I had panic attacks in 2020. I allowed fear to consume me. I was afraid of the consequences. Nobody threatened me or even eluded to any of my fears but I believed my fears because I believed me.

If we spoke to ourselves and loved ourselves like we speak to and love others, our anxiety would dissipate. It’s not on the person that planted the seed of fear, it is us watering the seed of fear. The seed of fear most likely came from our childhood wounds. Someone told us when we were young that if it wasn’t done exactly right, this, or that way there would be consequences.

I understand this because I was told as a child that I was going to hell more often than I was told God loved me. I was told more often it’s wrong than right. I was told by teachers, preachers, parents, and peers who also had the seed of fear in them too that there would be consequences. As I grew I watered that seed. I watered that seed for over 50 years by saying out loud, “I’m afraid, I’m worried, I’m scared”. Stop thinking and saying these phrases because that’s the water. Proverbs 23:7 says

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:

I thought and believed I would be abandoned, betrayed, blacked out, pay consequences for anything less than right or perfect. But thank ya Jesus I don’t water the seed today. I’m working on digging the roots of it out and removing all traces.

As my shrink told me fear is not real. It’s just nothing trying to become something. And we can choose fear to believe in something bad or choose faith and believe in something good. But faith and fear can never simultaneously exist.

If you resonate with this, remember the next time you feel that pit in your stomach that moves up to your throat and into your air passageways and you struggle to breathe, it’s not your future you’re afraid of. It’s repeating the past that makes you anxious. Let go and have faith.

Published by Dana

Creative writer about my life and life lessons. Survivor of abandonment, addiction, narcissist relationships, and trauma. Still dealing while I'm healing. Thank you Jesus!

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