I almost allowed my compassion and empathy to cross my boundaries the last two weeks. Have you ever felt so much compassion for someone that you let your boundaries down to help them or try to help them? I think most of us have been there and done that. We say we are not helping that person again. I’m not taking that phone call, watching that kid, running that errand, and then we find ourselves not saying “no” to them because we feel bad for them.
My compassion and empathy have compromised my boundaries more times than I’d like to admit. We can often justify it by telling ourselves that they don’t have anyone to help them or what if something happens to them. We let down our boundaries due to compassion and justify it so we don’t feel guilty or shameful for not helping them. It’s us doing an act for us to not feel bad.
It’s happened to me twice in the last two weeks and while I stood looking down the slippery slope, I did not lean forward to fall back into my old ways. I love myself and respect myself now more than I do anybody else. I must decline all invites to pity parties.
I also realize that some folks just don’t feel loved unless you are showing them compassion and attending their pity party. You know them! The sky is always falling. As long as the sky is falling it’s likely they will get the love they need through our compassion and pity.
I’m not compromising my boundaries to give compassion to those expecting me to attend their pity party. Like a revolving door, it never stops from some people. If you give them an inch some want a mile. But just like all revolving doors when we get out, usually someone else is getting in. There’s always going to be someone throwing a pity party and there is always someone who is going to attend. Let’s make sure it’s not us compromising our boundaries to attend so we don’t feel guilty or shameful.