The other day I blogged “Out With The Old And In With The New”. I said you don’t have to feel guilty for choosing your holiday celebration even if you disappoint others. I said guilt is a time-waster. I mentioned it was another blog. I think the word “guilt” and the word “shame” get misconstrued often and are not clear definitions to many. This is how I heard it best.
Guilt is when you are bothered by something you did or didn’t do. It’s when you didn’t do the right thing for others. You didn’t pay back the money you borrowed, you lied to your friend, you feel bad. This is why I said it’s a time-waster. If you do the right thing, you won’t feel guilty. You should not feel guilty for living your best life, being your authentic self, and following your path. What you do best for you is nobody else’s business.
Note, toxic folks will do guilt trips making you think you did not do them right. Do not accept this form of manipulation or self doubting. It’s a tactic to control you.
Shame occurs when you think you are bad. You evaluate or judge yourself in a negative light. You take from doing bad to viewing yourself as bad. Shame comes from others not allowing us to be authentic selves and allowing us to be free. Shame is accepting blame from others. It cannot exist if we get compassion and understanding when we share our stories.
We have to be careful that we do not blend guilt and shame. We shouldn’t go from what I did is bad to I am bad. If you believe you are bad, not worthy, not good enough then you become impossible to love. If someone thinks you’re the greatest but you disagree and don’t think highly of yourself then you will push them away. We tend to push people away when we don’t agree. Another word that comes into play with this scenario is “worthless”. If you feel shame, you often feel worthless.
It’s time to let go of it! Release the shame that you accepted from others. You are not to blame for what happened. Let go of the guilt! You did what you had to do to survive. If you haven’t done someone right, make it right. Pay them back, ask for forgiveness, clean the slate, become fresh and new. God has forgiven you so why can’t you forgive yourself and others? Let’s go into 2022 clean by releasing shame, guilt, blame, and feeling worthless. Prayers for healing for all. ❤️