What Sex In The City Taught Me

I’m not a Sex In The City follower but I have watched the most recent and newest episodes. In one episode (spoiler alert) Carrie is advised by Charlotte and Miranda to H. A. L. T. after Big dies. Maybe I’ve been under a rock but I learned that H. A. L. T is a real acronym that stands for Hungry -Angry -Lonely- Tired. I’m intrigued now.

I researched and read more about H. A. L. T. In German it means “stop” and in recovery, it means don’t make any decisions when you are feeling any of these. Most recovery articles refer to addicts recovering from alcohol and drugs but in my world and for many others, recovery is about recovering from emotionally abusive relationships, trauma bonding, and childhood wounds. Recovery means to return to a normal state of health, mind, and strength. We are healing while we are recovering. It makes sense to H. A. L. T during recovery.

Hungry – we all know we can’t think when we are hungry. We also can’t make good decisions. This is why we become more impulsive and reach for anything when we are hungry. If we can’t make good decisions and choices in food then we more than likely shouldn’t make other decisions, especially big ones. Eat first, think, act.

Angry – never make a decision or react when we are mad. Don’t reply to that text message, email, or voice your thoughts until you have calmed down. If we must get it out. Write a letter (not email) but do not mail it. Just write everything we want to say to get it out of our system. Once it’s out then we can proceed with responding. Again don’t make any decisions.

Lonely – isolation is a breeding ground for depression. While we think we are connecting to people electronically we are not connecting emotionally. When we are lonely we tend to have pity parties and make decisions based on our feelings and not facts. Don’t let loneliness and depression be what drives us on our decision. Wait until we are in a better place.

Tired – this just doesn’t pertain to not getting enough sleep but it pertains to being emotionally tired. Don’t make decisions when we are short on sleep, didn’t sleep well or emotionally drained. If we are living with emotionally draining vampires such as controllers, narcissists, emotional abusers, think about getting away solo to make decisions, especially major ones.

Recovery is a process and it’s a lifestyle that you will have good days and bad days. Just remember on those bad days to H. A. L. T before proceeding with a decision. We shouldn’t cling to toxic when we are lonely. Give in to controllers when we are tired. Say hurtful words we can’t take back when we are angry. Make poor choices or decisions when we are hungry.

Published by Dana

Creative writer about my life and life lessons. Survivor of abandonment, addiction, narcissist relationships, and trauma. Still dealing while I'm healing. Thank you Jesus!

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