Anytime we are not sure about anything, our relationships, our economy, jobs, and finances. We are often traumatized by the unsureness which makes us fight, flight, or freeze.
If we don’t know if he/she is cheating, leaving, or staying we will become stressed which leads to fighting with them, us flighting and leaving first, or freezing and becoming emotionally and/or physically detached. Being unsure is being sure of nothing.
Uncertainty is a silent killer. It’s the number one distraction in our society. It’s why when inflation is high and paychecks are low that we see more violence, more suicides, and crime is higher. It’s because uncertainty breeds fear of the unknown. Not knowing how to take the same amount we made 5 years ago and apply it to today’s essential needs.
Many of us withdraw and freeze because the stresses of life put us in the thinking lab aka The Rabbit Hole to figure out what we can do to improve our situation. Some people will be more sensitive and/or angry at just the fact they have been victimized through no fault of their own and feel more entitled. Some will become more image-conscious and try to pretend the situation is not affecting them. Anyway, you slice it or dice it we are not ourselves.
We can see how the gray area of life causes imbalance. We want to say “Love me or leave me but don’t leave me hanging.” We want it to be clear where we stand. It’s why many people who feel rejected by family due to their religious, political, or sexual preferences flee to often unhealthy but feeling secure relationships. They just want a place of certainty.
Let’s remember that maybe many of us or maybe all of us are not ourselves. Let’s assume we all live in the land of gray and we all are uncertain and projecting our fear of the unknown because we have known is gone.
Dealing to Healing 