Deflection Behavior

Do you know someone who will get mad about something simple? Have you ever told someone something and they changed their attitude towards you but you didn’t know why? Have you ever shared something and the next thing you know they are bringing up something from the past? I have experienced all of these situations.

Some people will not tell you the truth and be transparent with their feelings. They will not say “I’m jealous” or “I’m feeling insecure about this.” We don’t often hear those sentences but we do hear blaming, shaming and deflecting their feelings.

This is called Deflection Behavior. The definition is a defense mechanism that involves redirecting focus, blame, or criticism from oneself onto another person, in an attempt to preserve one’s self-image.

So when you say “I bought a new car.” Instead of them saying “Congratulations!” and being happy for you, they are jealous but they can’t say that so they’ll say something like, “You should’ve bought this brand or that brand.” Now they are redirecting their jealousy to try and make you feel like you bought the wrong one by shaming you. Or maybe they will suddenly cancel plans with you.

You may or may not ever get the truth out of them. I did once because their anger made zero sense to me so I confronted them in person. Looked them right in their eyes and said.”What is the real issue here because I know you are not so simple that you are mad about what you are saying you are mad about?” They confessed what bothered them and it had been bothering them for years. It was jealousy!

Don’t be deceived by these people’s actions. They are deflecting their unhealthy feelings and what they are doing or saying has nothing to do with you. You don’t have to stay awake to try and figure it out, watch the pattern. If they do it once they’ll do it again. Don’t overthink it either because their words are empty and not the truth.

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Ephesians 5:6

Published by Dana

Creative writer about my life and life lessons. Survivor of abandonment, addiction, narcissist relationships, and trauma. Still dealing while I'm healing. Thank you Jesus!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: