There was a tweet from a therapist regarding whether therapists should tell their patients “I’m proud of you.” The tweet became a conversation that I did not indulge in because I don’t need anybody to tell me they are proud of me because I’m proud of myself.
Here’s how you know you’ve come a long way baby and you’ve started healing. You start having compassion for those that are toxic, the ones who have stomped on your heart and walked out the door, and left you at your lowest. Sounds crazy, huh?
Reasons for my compassion, first they are still sick, toxic, and not willing to let go of their toxic ways to be a better person. They are not willing to search for the light buried in them. They weren’t born evil and toxic, that’s a learned behavior. That’s a generational curse that hasn’t been broken. Their caretaker, their grandparents, and great grandparents all had some type of toxic traits and it got passed on to them.
Another reason I have compassion is that they don’t believe in karma. They don’t know or believe that whatever they sow they will reap. The karma train may not have stopped at their station yet but it will. The scripture says “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” – Galatians 6:7
Another way I know I’ve come a long way is I can tell my story and not get emotional. I can tell it without shedding a tear or anger, and tell it from an outsider looking in. In other words, I was not a victim. I’m not a victim because I got the lesson. It broke my pattern and it broke the pattern of women before me, in my family that gravitated to weak, toxic men. It’s not ironic that I haven’t attracted one since I started my journey. Oh, they are there, the devil is always in disguise. I just don’t give them one second of my time. I hear my guardian angel on my shoulder say “Pssst! Their red flag is showing.”
I know who I am because I have done the work and I was willing to dig deep and go through enormous pain. I know who I am because I have prayed to die but didn’t because God had a purpose for me. That’s why I don’t need anybody to say they are proud of me. I’m proud of myself for knowing what I know and reinventing myself from the ashes they left on the ground.
2 thoughts on “Still I Rise”
Our paths are frightening parallel at times. I stand by the fact that you were sent as affirmation to the journey I started several years ago.
I was out with a friend last night and we were discussing growth. She noted how I have changed and that I now seem to be more secure in the knowledge that I deserve respect, kindness and to be appreciated. It has come with age and simply just having enough of giving my joy away. I have come to a point where I no longer need anyone’s approval. I try to live my best life, I try not to hurt others, as long as I approve of myself, my actions, I do not care about, nor do I need, anyone else’s. God knows my heart and as long as I am true to Him, His word and what I believe to be right, the rest will fall into place.
Thank you for the posts and insights, they are a source of strength. God bless.
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Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. And yes I agree it was divine intervention when we crossed paths. So glad we did. 💖