Expectation feed frustration. It is unhealthy attachment to people, things and outcomes we wish we could control; but don’t.
– Steve Maraboli
I had a conversation the other day with someone in the market for a house. As we discussed the crazy market of homes selling for the above asking price, prices above appraisals that make cash king, and the race to see and make an offer before the rest of the world is all insane.
I concurred with their frustration. My advice to them went like this, don’t attach yourself to it. Look at it as a lotto ticket. When you buy a lotto ticket or scratch off, you hope you win, you want to win, and you anticipate winning but if you don’t win you don’t agonize over it because you are not attached to it.
We allow our attachments to be controlled by something we can’t control. Not being attached is about letting nothing or nobody owns us. Detachment dilutes fear, there is no fear of loss if the attachment is not present.
Not being attached cancels anxiety and depression. You cannot be anxious if you don’t have an attachment. The attachment is wanting it so bad, claiming it before it’s yours. The disappointment of not getting it and it not being yours breeds depression. Allowing and accepting is where we must be to be free.
Every day I’m working on detachment. Allowing and accepting. Living in the present and being free. I’m looking at every possibility just as that, a possibility. It’s a possible win just like a lotto ticket. I think the Beatles had it right “Let it Be”.