Recovery is the process of unlearning the behaviors in childhood that really hurt us and to really learn how to self trust and build relationships that work on all the skills that go along with that. ~ The Love Fix Podcast
According to that statement, I’m in recovery. Maybe a lot of us are in recovery trying to unlearn the behaviors that we learned from our caretakers who had good intentions but lacked the knowledge and skills to do better.
While one is in recovery and healing from decades of trauma it’s only normal or natural to have bad days, to have triggers, to fall back into those patterns that for years we were experts in doing. It happens to the best of us, sometimes when we least expect it.
I had a “professional” the other day trigger me and I was shocked at how fast it happened. As I highlighted my story for the last couple of years in the window of about 5 minutes my point was to say how far I’ve come and how much I’ve accomplished. Before I could finish, she started telling me what I needed to work on, what I lacked, blah blah, blah. I say “blah, blah, blah” because, after her first couple of sentences downplaying my recovery, I did not hear anything she said. When I heard no more words coming out of her mouth, I said “thank you, have a good day.” and ended the call.
Giving constructive criticism to those in recovery can be an easy trigger. It shouldn’t matter how far we have come! If you’ve gone 1 day without a drink, I applaud you. If you’ve lost 5 lbs. I applaud you, if you’ve removed 1 toxic person from your life, I applaud you. Steps are steps no matter how small.
Nothing and I mean nothing happens overnight. If you build wealth that doesn’t happen overnight. If you go broke it’s not overnight. Losing and gaining weight is a real %^*#+ and it does not happen overnight. We must learn to congratulate ourselves and appreciate how far we have come. Loving ourselves so much that we can drown out the naysayers, and the critics so when they try to highjack our brain, all we hear is blah blah blah.