Hiding the scary parts of ourselves is only scaring us. I find when I share those most fearful unthinkable parts of myself with others, that the other party responds opposite of what I believed.
Maybe it’s because I write to the internet daily but I find it easier even with the fear in me to share my story with so many that I meet face to face each day. When I get to the part where I didn’t want to live, I prayed for the mattress to open up and let me die in my sleep, I usually get paused right there.
I get paused with the other party saying I’ve been there or I hear that someone close to them committed suicide and they give me their thoughts and opinions on it. Either way, people do relate. Sometimes it’s as if they are almost relieved to talk about it. Our society has made the word suicide a hush-hush word. Even though we have pop culture icons such as Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade that decided they no longer wanted to stay here and it’s the leading cause of death.
Opening up and sharing that part of me is a fear I know I need to overcome to not only remind myself how far I’ve come but also inspire others not to give up. The fear within me tells me that I may experience a feeling I don’t want to have, fear tells me I may not be accepted, I may be disappointed, I may fail, I may be overcome with emotion. All those words speak to me but I do it anyway. As soon as the other party relates and embraces my story, it passes.
Overcoming our fears by sharing our scary parts may help someone more than we can imagine. Maybe someone is just waiting on someone like me, like you to share a part that could change their lives forever or help them heal just by talking about their pain. We must remember where our fear is, there our task is.