I’ve watched a couple of Netflix documentaries about women who fall prey to master manipulators. It’s a big trigger for me and brings up stuff that the old me experienced. If you watch these documentaries, Bad Vegan and The Tinder Swindler with zero experience with master manipulators or narcissists you may say this could not be real, these women are stupid or crazy. Trust me, they are not crazy, or stupid and it’s very real.
I understand your take because it’s so far-fetched how could anyone give up their life, go broke, file bankruptcy because of buying into a belief system that’s an illusion.
I can tell you how from my own experience and my story that closely rivals these documentaries. The abandonment wound craves love, companionship, acceptance, and emotional connection. It doesn’t matter your race, age, sex, or social status, you can fall into the trap of what you think is real love. I’ll use the analogy of a mirage in the desert. When you are so thirsty and your desire is so strong for the emotional need to be fulfilled, you cannot see things for what they are, you see them as you need them or want them to be.
A master manipulator can just allude to things to make one think it’s happening or it’s possible. They know they are painting a picture to their victims with no intention of fulfilling the victim’s need or want. If my dream is to go to Paris and the next thing I see from the manipulator are brochures on Paris, or a travel agent’s card or a book on how to speak French, I am going to think I’m getting a trip to Paris. But the trip never comes. That’s how it works when you are dealing with a narcissist!
They will lie, manipulate, throw breadcrumbs and dangle carrots just to get what they want. As I told a tribe member, I don’t like carrots anymore. I don’t follow breadcrumb trails and I will not fall for a lie or be manipulated. Once you see it for what it is, you can never unsee it. Once the pattern is broken you will never repeat it.
It’s all an illusion, it’s alluding because they’ll never admit they said it, committed to it, or promised it. Believe me! In the words of my mother, “never put your trust in man” only in God and yourself because man will lead you down a path that leads to a rabbit hole that you cannot imagine. Believe in yourself by listening to your instinct, your gut talk, and your intuition. Its the only way to avoid the master manipulator alluding to the illusion.