I used this quote when I blogged about giving others grace. I want to use it again to illustrate another point.
When we categorize people by saying, they are nice or they are mean, we are categorizing and putting them in our box. We expect them to stay in that box. Keeping people in a box and a category will get you hurt.
Let me explain. We are all complicated. We all have sides. Each of us has a good side, an ugly side, a dark side, and an angelic side. Depending on the situation, our sides are exposed. Even the narcissist has a good side or we wouldn’t fall into the trap of trusting them. And Jesus had an angry side when he turned over the tables.
Sometimes the ones that we label as a good person or “got my back” are the very ones that will leave you. Think about it, the ones you thought were the ride or die are the ones who’ve hurt you. We are never hurt by our enemies or those we categorize as bad. We are hurt by those that we put in the good category.
We should not put the expectation on others that we can’t put on ourselves. If we can change, snap, show our ugly side then we must know others have that capability too. It’s not about trust, it’s about not categorizing, labeling, and putting folks in a box. Accept they have sides just like me and you. Accept they are evolving just like me and you. Accept that none of us are the finished product and we all need allowances to change.