Get your checklist out and put the word “control” down. Narcissists love control. Every narcissist I know or had a relationship with has been controlling. You will be a squirrel in their world. Going back and forth across the street because they control everything. They always have the television remote. And it’s their show, their volume, their music, their thermostat, I know narcissists that control their partner’s phone by listening and interjecting in conversations, breaking in their partner’s text messages, iCloud, putting hidden cameras in private spaces, tracking their partners. These are all the obvious control tactics.
Here’s what I call the “silent control”. It’s I will call you right back, so you’re thinking just any minute or a few minutes they will call you so you don’t take or make another call. And maybe they call you back and maybe they don’t. Either way, it’s controlling you not to get into another conversation. Or it’s I’ll be there Saturday. And if you say “what time?” You may get an answer but more than likely something vague so that way they want you to just stay ready.
Partners that make major decisions without consulting the other are controlling. I know folks that buy automobiles without ever consulting the other and never consider if it’s comfortable or something they like. Parents that control children’s extracurricular activities. Push them to play sports, play music, etc.. even if the child is not good or doesn’t want to do it.
I’m not saying that every control freak is a narcissist but if any of this resonates and they are meeting other checks on the list then they may be a narcissists. I encourage you to do your research, and/or talk to a therapist. Life is too short to be in a relationship with anyone who is controlling rather they are a narcissist or control freak.