I’ve had several people ask me about gaslighting. They want to understand it and they want to know more. I can only share my experiences with you from my past relationships.
One example is I’ve had narcissists do name-calling and then say “I was just joking”. When they name call, first that is no way to joke. Name-calling or putting a label on one is never acceptable but when following up with “I’m joking” or “LOL” in a text, that’s a form of gaslighting. They want you to apologize to them for how you perceived it. They want you to question your sanity on how you took it and may even call you sensitive, which is another form of gaslighting.
Asking a question like, “Were there any females at the party?” They reply “no”. But you know there were females at the party because you saw the pictures, overheard the females’ voices. Then when you say “I know because blah blah blah” Then they justify by saying “well you knew this person or that person was there and they are a female.” Again, making you question your sanity to only apologize for an accusation of him lying to you.
When you say how you feel and they dismiss it or call you “sensitive”, “overreacting”, “crazy”, those are all forms of gaslighting.
They assign motives to your actions that are not your intentions. They may say, “you were flirting with him”, “I saw you wink at him” but you just said “hi” and was being nice or you gave a subtle wink not to be flirtatious. This is a form of gaslighting.
This is another one on the checklist. If you are in a relationship with someone and any of this resonates with you, consider further research on gaslighting to confirm and consider they may be a narcissist.