Kenya

There was a time in my life that I was overwhelmed because I couldn’t say “no” to the ones closest to me. I felt I had to do as asked because nobody else would do it or it was my duty. I would do it all while gritting my teeth, exhausting myself, and having resentment. I thought it was just easier to do it than to say no and explain why I couldn’t or did not want to do it.

One day I reached a breaking point. That’s what happens when you stuff things. It eventually explodes like a volcano. My mother had asked me to do something and I replied, “You should’ve just named me Kenya! You say “Can ya” “Can ya “Can ya” “Can ya” “Can ya” til all I hear is Kenya.” She looked surprised when I said it but then laughed because she knew it was true. She apologized and went right back to asking me and I went right back to doing. It was a running joke with us until the day she died. She knew it was exhausting to me but she couldn’t help herself and I couldn’t say “no”.

You are reading this right now and resonating with it because your mother, dad, sibling, children, grown children, and/or friends do the same thing. They ask and know you’re tired but they just cannot help themselves to ask one more time. It is up to you, me, each individual to hold our boundaries. Nobody is going to say “Stop! You are tired.”

You know the saying, “Nobody is coming to save you”, referring to making you get up to work, exercise, pull you up when you fall. Use that same mindset that nobody is going to tell you to stop. Not a soul is going to say you do too much for me please stop. Folks will let you and wear you out until you fall out. We must hold our boundaries, we must speak up, we must listen to our intuition, we must or we will always be referred to as “Kenya”.