When I came back to Atlanta in 2020 to work for an international company. I thought it was my dream job. I had applied multiple times and was on top of the world to get an opportunity with them. Within weeks of working for my “dream” company, I started having full-blown panic attacks. I’d never had a panic attack. I couldn’t breathe, my arm went numb from shoulder to fingertips, I was nauseated, crying uncontrollably, all while trying to manage in a virtual room of 60 plus teammates. It was confusing to me. I didn’t know what was happening or why it was happening. It took me leaving to figure out, that it was the style of management. I was consistently being told what I was doing wrong more than what I was doing right. Maybe that works for some who love constructive criticism to get better, I’m happy that works for you. For those of us who were raised in fear-based homes, fear-based church doctrines, and/or narcissist parents that does not work. When you try really hard and you’re still “screwing it up”, that just won’t work for us. Many of us give 110% on everything. We are people pleasers, we believe in the power of customer service, give us a job and we want to make sure we do it right and all we want is a “thank you”, an acknowledgment and a smile is a bonus because that’s all we ever wanted but never got in life. When we are told, “you could’ve, you should’ve, I wish you would’ve” that is too much for us.
I’m telling my story for those who relate. To you having panic attacks, trouble with stress and anxiety, diagnose yourself by checking your energy around people. If it’s job-related, family-related, friend related, figure it out and make a change. Nobody should be having panic attacks over being told they are not doing it right or they need to do it better. Life is too short to be stressed out over someone else not being happy with you! Remember too that some just can’t say “Good job!” Lord no, don’t say that, we might get complacent or worse, apply for the manager’s position. “Monday Blues” is real and big hugs to all that are dealing with that now. Check your energy, figure it out, ask for strength and guidance to find your place where you’re appreciated and loved. Love yourself ❤️