Healing is messy and healing from trauma is messier. When we carry pain for years, decades, since childhood, over a loss of a parent including abandonment it’s painful. Grieving over abuse, no matter if it’s physical, emotional, or sexual, it’s all traumatic. Grieving over childhood trauma from generational curses is so painful. If you take all that on top of life, job losses, divorce/breakups, your kid’s stuff, your health issues, your finances, anxiety, depression, and the long list of stuff we have that keeps us up at night. It’s our stuff and it just makes healing really messy.
As we start to deal with our stuff, and we start to heal, it’s important that we have the right tools in our toolbox. Make sure we have the following in our toolbox.
The best therapist that your money can buy. Find your person and keep them like your life depends on it because it does.
A supportive partner. They need to be on board with your healing. And hold your hand through it all.
A great support system aka tribe. You need your friends that love you on the days you are up, down, trying to figure out how to breathe.
1 or 2 friends you can always call to get you through the tough days. In turn, you take their call. That’s the trade-off.
Things that make your senses happy. Your favorite material like a blanket, shirt, or pants. A candle, a bubble bath that makes your nose happy. Maybe it’s your favorite songs that just make your ears happy. And then everyone can find their favorite food. Making the senses happy during bad, messy days can be a savior.
Prayer and meditation. Pray for strength and hope. Write down something you’re thankful for in a journal. There’s always something to be thankful for in life. Those are the things we need in our toolboxes.
Things we do not need while healing, especially on bad days, are as follows:
You don’t need negative. Negative talk, naysayers, Debbie downers, or Negative Nancy’s. It’s easier to go down than to go up. Don’t let them pull you down.
Find the “Do Not Disturb” button on your phone or at least the “Ringer off” button. The phone is for you, not for others.
Stay off social media. You’ll just start comparing your real-life stuff with everyone’s fake stuff.
Always monitor your energy. If it doesn’t feel good don’t do it. Everything and everyone can wait. Fill your brain with motivational quotes, podcasts, sermons, read self-help books. We are as we think. If we fill our brain with nonsense and foolish things then we are just avoiding moving forward.
It’s tough and messy but we can do it. One baby step, one day at a time. Take care of yourself! ❤️