I wrote about abandonment last week. I want to tell you today what an abandoned child does to get loved. They invest!
A child that has been abandoned physically and/or emotionally, will invest their time, money, body, energy, and every fiber of their being to get loved. It starts as a child but can continue to the grave.
They are investors in their relationships, employers, friends, family, and sometimes strangers just so they can get a return on their investment. They are so emotionally starved for love that they are extremely vulnerable and open to any investment with just about anybody.
They are great candidates for users, abusers, narcissists due to their vulnerability. They believe that if they just invest enough, give enough, do enough that the user, abuser, the narcissist will return the same. Unfortunately, this does not happen. The user, abuser, narcissist gives zero return. They are only takers and the abandoned child is only a giver. This cycle can go on for years, decades, and to the grave.
The grief comes if the abandoned child eventually sees zero return on their investment. The grief, the pain from the reality of what it is traumatic. It’s traumatizing to invest everything until you are broke. You have given everything just get to zero return. Pain, grief, and going broke changes people.
To you abandoned child and anybody else this resonates with, don’t go broke investing in people that give you zero return. You will grieve in those areas that you invested the most and got zero return. Your best investment is you. Love yourself!