I wrote on Thursday, September 16 “A is for Abandonment as an Adult”. It hit a lot of you, got shared multiple times. I said I would write on it again but I did not expect this soon.
If you or someone you know is physically or emotionally abandoned as a child, your perception is that you are not important. You believe that you do not matter, your needs, your thoughts, your life does not matter. If you were a child in a single-parent home and your parent is gone all the time due to job(s), you are left with huge responsibilities. No child should have to have adult responsibilities. It robs children of their innocence, freedom, identity. Children can’t be free if they have adult responsibilities. Having a list of things to do, like turning off the stove, setting alarms, etc. Children made to be housekeepers are robbed of their childhood innocence. Children need to be free to play, do activities that other children do on the weekends, find their likes and passions. Chores and responsibilities are great but they did not come into this world to do child labor to meet parental needs. The child did not choose the parent. The parent(s) chose to have the child.
When a father emotionally abandons his daughter, here’s what is likely to happen. The father never tells the daughter that she is beautiful, smart, capable, never encourages her. The daughter becomes an adult or dating age and the first man that comes along and tells her that she’s beautiful, smart, encourages her and that she is capable, she follows that man. Because she is so emotionally starved. He may be a narcissist, toxic, he may not be “the one”, but because he has given her a few of her emotional needs, she picks him. I believe marriages do not work, and the divorce rate is so high, because of abandonment. Children that have been abandoned make bad choices in partners due to our emotional and physical needs that were neglected as a child.
To you abandoned child, it was not your fault, you couldn’t help that the parent left you, you did not do anything wrong or cause it. You were a victim based on adult needs and wants. I’m sorry that they hurt you, threw you into adulthood before you were able or capable of handling adult duties. You are now an independent, strong person. You have a lot of quality traits and you deserve to be loved, respected, and heard. Love yourself ❤️
Dealing to Healing 