I wanna talk about grief today. It’s a painful day, for me, my son, and his dad’s family. Today would’ve been my son’s dad’s 60th birthday.
Grief is so unmanageable. We never know when that smell, that song, that memory is going to pop in our mind. We never know when it’s going to happen or where we are going to be. That pain hits you so hard that you lose your breath, you lose sight and the sound of everything around you. Pain so deep, that you lose control of your body. Y’all know that pain? You do if you’ve ever lost someone you love. Sometimes the pain of losing the living is as painful as losing the dead.
And grief changes you, usually forever. If you’ve read my Dealing to Healing Story, then you know I’ve had a series of losses. In 4 years, I’ve lost 4 people, that each had my heart. With each loss, I’ve changed. A loss will make you decide very quickly what is important, more importantly, what is not important. It will make you pray a prayer as you’ve never prayed before in your life. It will make you remove masks, become real and raw. Grief will quickly introduce you to denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. Some days they are like a snowflake, other days like an avalanche. Yes, my friend grief is the deepest pain you’ll ever feel.
To you that is grieving, carrying the pain of a loss, you are not alone. Your heart is broken and it will never be the same, you’ll be ok, just not today.