The Voice in the Silence: Finding the Spirit When the World Fails You

I read something this morning that cut straight through the noise of Easter Sunday. It was a quote that stopped me in my tracks:

“If you ask people who do not believe in God why they do not, the number one reason will be suffering. If you ask people who believe in God when they grew the most spiritually, the number one answer will be suffering.”

That last sentence describes my spiritual life perfectly.

The Faith I Was Given

As a child, my belief in God wasn’t really mine. It was a hand-me-down. I believed because my mother told me to. I believed because the church I was raised in dictated a specific doctrine—the “it’s this way or no way” kind of religion. I was brought into a system, I was given a script, and I took it because it was all I knew.

But as an adult, life happened.

I have never questioned the existence of God, but I have learned to think outside the rigid walls of the system I was handed. I’ve experienced pain that felt bottomless and suffering that felt like it would swallow me whole.

The “Sin Money” Paradox

I remember a specific moment that really exposed the hypocrisy for me. A pastor stood at the pulpit and told the congregation that if anyone won the lottery, they shouldn’t give that money to the church because it was “sin money.”

I sat there thinking, How can lottery money be “sinful” if it’s used to help as scholarship money to help young adults get an education? I thought about the intelligent, driven people who lacked the funds to go to college. To me, using those resources to empower someone’s future was a good thing.

Quietly, under my breath, I called it what it was: bullshit. We’ve all seen it—no church ever turns away an offering or a tithe. To stand behind a pulpit and claim a moral high ground while the reality of the “system” tells a different story was just another moment of my searching deeper. I realized I couldn’t just follow a doctrine; I had to find the Truth.

Finding God in the Silence

It was through this type of questioning—and through the seasons of intense suffering—that I found my own faith.

We’ve all had those moments where we think we cannot go on for another second. Those nights when the thread we are holding onto is so thin it’s nearly invisible. Yet, it’s in those exact moments that I find a glimmer of hope.

In the stillness of that suffering, I hear a voice inside. I believe it’s the Spirit of God. It isn’t a rehearsed sermon or a rigid doctrine; it’s a presence that guides me and offers comfort when the world offers none.

This is why I believe in God. Not because of a church hierarchy, a family tradition or a belief system I was handed, but because I felt it when everything else was stripped away.

Do You Know Your “Why”?

I may not be saying this with perfect grace or “political correctness,” but it’s the truth: You have to understand why you believe what you believe.

If you are guided solely by the system you were born into—never stopping to think for yourself or sitting in the silence long enough to listen—do you actually know your own heart?

Without the willingness to sit with your own pain and suffering, it is impossible to tell if the voice you’re following is truly God’s, the Divine Spirit that lives in you.