Yesterday I spent over 7 hours at a medical appointment. What I thought was going to be a simple process turned out to be a lot more detailed than what I could imagine. In the past, I had done something similar but this was not the same as it was much more complicated. It was much more complicated because I had ignored my own health needs. Now I was paying the price of procrastination due to time, money, and the demands of life.
I’ll share it with you as I told my friend. There is no escaping anything. We deal with it as it presents itself or we chuck it in the “fuck it bucket” until it grows and we must deal with it. This is everything! That little tee tiny place that we think is nothing is now cancer that’s taken over our bodies. That little bill that’s due but we don’t pay it because we choose something more comforting like brunch, shopping, or Netflix is now suing us or garnishing our check. That thing that someone said or did hurt our feelings but we ignore it for fear of confrontation so we repress our feelings and anger until we explode. Nothing is going away until we deal with it.
It’s why we keep repeating the same lessons. Procrastinating our pain is not supposed to be pocketed. We need to deal with it as it presents itself no matter how painful it is or how long it takes because it’s not going away. The little spot, the bill, the anger, the secret in our vault. All will still be there until it rears its ugly head and gets right in your face.
It’s a hard lesson but we will keep repeating it until we stop the madness of delaying the pain. The best thing we can do is stop self abandoning for the demands that others put on us, stop trying to escape the pain and deal with it as it presents itself. Make it lesson 1, not lesson 100000000000000006.
Dealing to Healing 