My Authentic Self

I’ve read and heard for years to be authentic, to be exactly who I am. Let go of fear, let go of questions, let go of the hows. let go of being judged or critiqued in my writings. I was told by a good friend who is also an author that I should write as my authentic self and the audience will come.

Last week I was in a writing class with thousands of people from all over the world. It was sponsored and given by an international publishing company. The one thing they kept reiterating was to write your story authentically. Write it from your experience, in your authentic words, and let it flow without holding back.

If I am honest and transparent, I have been holding back from saying it as I would to my tribe or someone in person. Anyone who knows me personally knows I do not hold back when I talk. My words come out fluently from my heart and soul. I’ve held back many times because I don’t want my spiritual awakening and experience to be a shutdown or be a turn-off to those who do not understand or get it. The root of that comes from my religious trauma. Growing up in a fear-based church with a strict doctrine turned me off from religion and doctrine but not from God. I never want to shove God down anyone’s throat. Shoving God down someone’s throat is like taking bad medicine. It doesn’t matter how much it helps you, heals you, and makes you better, you are not going to like it or want it.

I am wrong for not being my authentic self, allowing my words to come out fluently and tell my story authentically. I’ve decided that if you are not open to believing in a spiritual awakening, a higher power, God, or believing there is more out there to guide us, I have to let that go. If you don’t want to believe then that is on you. It does not dilute my story or my experience. Your thoughts about me are none of my business.

Moving forward I will not hold back on my belief in my God or my spiritual awakening. It does not serve my purpose to help, guide, heal and inspire others if I cannot be my authentic self and leave my one-of-a-kind fingerprint. As I have written, to be a leader or lead a trend, be a trailblazer, you must be unorthodox. I must love my need to be my crazy, misfit, black sheep, unorthodox, authentic self more than I do to be liked and accepted. Thank ya Jesus for giving me the gifts to lead, help and heal others. Let’s Go!