One thing I’ve concluded on my journey is that when one is drowning they don’t know who else is drowning. When one is overwhelmed with grief, depression, sadness, or their stuff they never look around to see who else is drowning. Our emotional drowning is much like our physical drowning. If we are drowning or struggling in the water, we are not looking around to see who else is struggling, we are looking to see if anyone can help us or can save us. If we don’t see anyone we just keep fighting to stay alive. Fighting to stay alive while you’re suffocating in your stuff is a terrible feeling. Have you ever been so fearful that you can’t say anything? I have been so scared that nothing came out.
I think it’s important to remember this when we think nobody cares. A lot of times our peeps are drowning too. I’m drowning in my stuff, my friends are drowning in their stuff and nobody can say “help”. Sometimes our stuff is not even bad, it’s just we get caught up in life and never think about our friends drowning in bad stuff. I am trying to make a conscious effort to check on those that fall off my radar. I miss seeing ❤️ and 👍🏼 on social media and it makes me aware that someone could be drowning in their stuff.
I have said it before and I’ll say it again when one is not ok and they are drowning, it’s harder to answer that question, “Are you ok?” Nobody wants to say “life sucks” or “I’m drowning” or “I’m struggling”. I’ll usually say “Checking on you” to just let them know I miss them. If they want to tell me what’s going on, they can or if they can’t, I respect their decision.
Its important to remember this all the time but especially this time of year when many are grieving loved ones no longer here. Remember it’s not the happiest time of year for everyone. Just because you have your house full of family, friends and a full bank account doesn’t mean that for everyone. As my shrink says, “not everyone is like you”. Let’s check on those missing on our radar this month and make it a goal every month. It only takes seconds to send a text to say “Checking on you” or “Miss you”.