Narcissists do not like any holiday or special occasion that takes the focus off them. From my childhood thru adulthood, Christmas, birthday, or any other holiday was never special. I was lucky to have it celebrated. If I heard “it’s just another day” from my mother once I heard it at least a thousand times. She didn’t decorate for any holiday, not even a Christmas tree. I think one year she got one due to shame because I was young and she folded with a Charlie Brown tree.
I never had a birthday party until I threw myself one at 50 years old with the help of a friend and my sister.
Halloween was forbidden due to that was the “devil’s holiday” (insert eye roll here) because that was the church doctrine.
Easter was about church and seeing who could out-dress each other in the narcissistic fashion show. I always had a new dress and pair of shoes and that was more important than having an Easter basket because the Easter basket didn’t reflect my mother. It would only bring me happiness.
Thanksgiving was celebrated because it was about my mother. It was about her cooking and showing her talent in the culinary department.
The only celebration she loved was Mothers Day, her birthday, and “her” Christmas. She would start months ahead of her special day to tell me and my sister what she wanted but she would always start with “Don’t get me anything but if you do, get me this.” Then her wish list would roll out. Believe me, it was never anything from Walmart or something inexpensive. When she said she wanted an Estée Lauder fragrance, she meant the parfum, never the cologne or less. If we got anything that didn’t suit her specific demands, she would tell us right there with the gift wrappings in her lap, she was taking it back. She was not going to accept anything that she didn’t like or want. She was like that until the day she died. Her specifics never lightened up and it was always a demand.
Narcissists hate special occasions not only because it takes the focus off them but they lack joy and empathy for those who look forward to it. So they do what they can to destroy the holiday or special occasion for others. I do not have enough space to tell you how many holidays or special occasions were ruined due to drama, starting fights, and acting out in my family.
I’ll share more later about specifics on narcissists hating holidays and special occasions but for now, put it on your checklist. If you know someone who ruins holidays, special occasions, even vacations or trips, they might be a narcissist.