Since I’ve been on my path, I’ve limited my time and energy with people. See when you are healing, you can’t just expose yourself to all environments. You must rest, take care of yourself, it doesn’t matter if it’s physical or mental, limiting contact with people is necessary so you don’t get reinfected. The minute I feel my energy saying “this does not feel good”, I listen and act. I sometimes believe that is God telling us “no”. I listen and I don’t question it.
Recently I got myself in a situation that exposed me to a narcissist. I knew my energy had told me things about this person but I felt I couldn’t change or control the situation without hurting another person involved. The exposure to the narcissist exhausted me on so many levels that I finally told the person I didn’t want to hurt, that I won’t put myself in this position again. It was a great reminder of where I’d been in my previous life.
I want to talk to anybody that is now in a relationship with a narcissist. It doesn’t matter if it’s your partner, sibling, best friend, mother, dad, or child. When I tell you that shit is exhausting, that’s an understatement. Here’s the thing, you don’t know how exhausted you are until you get out of it. I feel certain you could throw your anxiety and depression meds down the toilet if you just blocked the relationship. And yes I know it’s not as easy when it’s your spouse. I just want you to know that gaslighting will make you think you’re crazy. You will question your thoughts and decisions. Being the wind beneath their wings constantly is literally sucking the life out of you.
I’m saying this in the most loving direct way I can tell you because you just don’t know how black the cloud is over you until you leave it. You cannot play their game. They get full credit for being masters and trying to match them is absurd, because you’ll never match them. I encourage you to limit contact, make your schedule and make it a goal to leave the relationship. Work on you more than them because you will not change them. It’s a complete waste of time.